“We are agents of the free, I've had my fun and now its time to, Serve your conscience overseas”
-Orange Crush, R.E.M.

I’ve discovered a new pastime at work: requesting songs on Virgin Radio and getting shout outs by London DJs. It’s true. It seems the trick is to mention I’m listening online in Canada, and it’s an almost instant playable request. Sweet. Maybe they’re just excited I know bands like Hard-Fi? Today I got a shout out for requesting either Hard-Fi or Franz Ferdinand (they played FF, “Do You Want To”). At least their radio is better than what gets played here, especially since it’s UK Music Week.

And since I’m on a music theme, I thought I’d take a look at my Top 20 most played songs on my iPod as I prepare to unplug the computer on Sunday (insert feverish downloading of any song I think I might want to hear in the next 5 months here). It’s been a few months since I reset my play counts so I’m wondering what’s crept back into my playlists, what’s fallen off the chart, and what’s new. So here we go from 20 to 1 (with only one song per artist):

House of Jealous Lovers- The Rapture
Rock n’ Roll Queen- The Subways
Politik- Coldplay
I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor- Arctic Monkeys
Shine a Light- Wolf Parade
Gold Lion- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Passenger- Iggy Pop
Mis-shapes- Pulp
Banquet- Bloc Party
Take Your Mama Out- Scissor Sisters
Going, Going, Gone- Stars
Cash Machine- Hard-Fi
Ooh La La- Goldfrapp
Lover’s Spit- Broken Social Scene
Miracle Drug- U2
Train in Vain- The Clash
Your Diary- Franz Ferdinand
Town Called Malice- The Jam
Kids with Guns- Gorillaz
Hotel Yorba- The White Stripes

Not that surprising. Some new, some old. As I get ready for concerts I tend to listen to more of an artist, hence the BSS, Hard-Fi, Franz, Stars, Arctic Monkeys, etc. I clearly love music made by Brits.

On to weekend goodness- Kensington market, dinners, drinking, packing, moving to Dan’s, and making jell-o since it is the last of the foodstuffs in my house (aside from rice). For now back to work- surfing the net, requesting songs, YouTubing, and the occasional filing duty until it's time for the traditional Friday $3.99 grilled cheese lunch.

“Another one on the waves tonight, Comin' in, you're home”

“Suddenly you will believe me, What more was it that I could be”
-Your Diary, Franz Ferdinand

I had my first dream about Japan last night. Well, it was more like a nightmare actually, and probably not that far from the truth. Of course, it could have been induced by the NyQuil in my system. Basically the plot was that I arrived in Japan totally unqualified to teach English and found I was way out of my element, what with my dislike for children and all. But at least I looked good- I dreamed up a really nice t-shirt that I’m going to see if I can find one like it at the mall today while I peruse the magazine selection at Indigo for something interesting to read on the plane.

I’m toying with the idea of going home for Sunday night, mostly because the cat has been getting into fights lately and according to my dad, who does exaggerate, “part of his ear has been torn off” and/or it’s “just a flesh wound.” I guess that’s what I get for naming my cat after Tony Danza- he is a fighter. But that probably won’t happen; I’ll just start scrounging off of Dan and Carrie-Anne at their apartment.

“He's asking you why you loved him, But you couldn't say why you loved him”

Nothing that interesting has happened to me lately (surprise!). I haven’t seen Zanta in a while, and because I’ve been sick, I haven’t felt like interacting with the nutcases on Church St. Although last week a man did lean over to me at Adelaide St. and say, “I look better in the dark, you know…” I took one look at him and said, “God, for your sake I hope so!” and then ran across the street. Okay, I didn’t run, but I walked briskly since I don’t run and I was wearing flip flops at the time. He didn’t look all that crazy. He was wearing a suit and looked relatively clean. But still, who does that? I’m not expecting that sort of crazy in Fukushima, which is kind of sad since I do enjoy my adventures along Queen St. with the randoms in the park who tell me I look good.

“But I didn't and don't, Want you ever to read, Any diary of mine”

My very cool co-worker Laurie, who borrowed 2 of my U2 bootlegs back in December, finally sent them back to me thru our inter-office mail (love abusing the system) with the special treat of a new CD of a 1981 U2 bootleg concert. So I have something else to occupy my auditory canals with other than Yahoo radio, which is currently insisting that I will love “Get It On (Bang a Gong)” by T. Rex.

And like any other productive work day, I found a video of David Bowie and Moby covering “Cactus” by The Pixies. And yes, I am very pleased with myself.

“But he gave you a list , Of all the reasons why he did”

Top 5 Songs of the Day Not Chosen by the Yahoo Radio “You’ll Like This” Playlist:

Too Much Too Young- The Specials
Between Us & Them- Moving Units
Spaniolated- Fiery Furnaces
I’d Rather Dance With You- Kings of Convenience
Who Rocks the Party- Les Savy Fav

“Your diary, your diary, it's open and inviting me back”

“When you have completed what you thought you had to do, And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue”
-Steady as She Goes, The Raconteurs

I decided to trudge into work today after a lazy two days home sick.

Went out for sushi last night with Dirk, Angus, and Alanna and reminisced about old times like our beloved Zaphod’s, other randomness, episodes of “That’s Our Dirk” that never materialized outside of our heads, and how quickly the past year has gone.

One good thing about being sick- apart from the other good things that include NOT going to work, sleeping in, watching TV, finding things I thought I had lost long ago, and reruns of America’s Next Top Model- is that I have a chance to peruse the literature in the house. Namely, Joyce’s aptly titled cookbook: “Innards and Other Variety Meats” by Jana Allen. It features interesting chapters and recipes such as:

Prepartaion of Brains
Brain Vinaigrette
Creamy Brain Chowder
Tacos de Sesos (Brain tacos)
Brains and Ham Foo Yung
Brains au Beurre Noir
Sweet & Sour Heart
Pig’s Ear Salad

It also suggests various sauces for serving tongue : Spanish Almond Sauce, Walnut and Peanut Sauce, BBQ Sauce (what, no Hollandaise ?!). OR serve is sans sauce in a Tongue Mousse.

There is also Stuffed Sow’s Maw which came with the delightful quote: “Whenver there was a sow to be slaughtered, there was a sow’s maw to be stuffed, according to the Pennsylvania Dutch.”

And last but not least, a recipe for Son of a Bitch Stew which basically encompasses a medley of meats from the beasts of the animal kingdom.

“Well here we go again, you've found yourself a friend that knows you well”

At least I was keeping myself occupied and educated at home. It also makes me glad that I am down to only rice, pita bread, veggie dip (but no veggies), apple sauce, rock candy from London, 3 granola bars, peanut butter, and some cookies in the attempts to clear out the apartment of food before I move over to Dan’s on Sunday. No innards or variety meats for me.

“But no matter what you do, it always feels as though the truth ends”

I’m listening to Yahoo radio which claims to play what I would like based on genre and band preferences. So far it assumes that I will love Peter Gallagher (I didn’t even know he sings), ZZ Top, Kenny Loggins, and Avril Lavigne in between The Stills, The Donnas, and The Raconteurs. I’m having much better luck with their random music video channel…but then again, maybe I shouldn’t be watching music videos at work. On second thought, I don’t have a boss/supervisor/manager, I’m the only one left in my department, and I’m the only one who has any grasp of my actual duties. At this point, it works out better for me if I get fired in the next 7 days since my severance will be equal to what I would have worked anyway….sweet (coincidently, yahoo radio just started playing “Ballroom Blitz” by Sweet). Thank God this film degree has come in handy.

“Are you steady now?”

Top 5 Songs I’m listening to Whilst Thinking About the Other White Meat:

Gold Lion- Yeah Yeah Yeahs (lions could be delicious)
My Little Red Book- Love
Shopping for Blood- Franz Ferdinand (I love shopping!)
House of Jealous Lovers- The Rapture
A Million Ways to Be Cruel- OK Go

“Steady as she goes”

"Hey man, my schoolday's insane, Hey man, my work's down the drain"
-Suffragette City, David Bowie

Ugh where do I begin with the weekend recap...

I didn't get to montreal. When I was informed that the replacement bus for my train would arrive around 330am, I vetoed that plan. Rusty ended up driving to Toronto and arrived around 1am. At this point in time, I started coming down with a bad cold (the same thing that's been going around here for a month, and liek an idiot, I thought I had missed catching it). With me feeling crappy and the rainy and cold weather not helping, I demanded to be taken to Future Shop to buy a Franz Ferdinand DVD and scope out the iPod accessories. And this is where the trouble began...

About 2 minutes from my house, just past Keele and Bloor St., we get into a car accident. Technically a fender bender although we bent more than a fender. It goes a little something like this: we are the last of 4 cars in a row. Car #1 decides to start reversing to parallel park causing car numbers 2 and 3 to slam on their breaks. Which leaves us, in a big Dodge Dakota truck to slam on our breaks. Although we were only going about 35 km/hr, plus brekaing at the time, the momentum of the truck plus the wet, rainy roads, causes us to smash into the back of the Honda Civic in front of us, which then hits the car in front of him. For the love of God, people I care about- do not drive a Honda Civic. This car was left crumpled. We were going 35km! If you were in an accident on the highway in that thing you'd be dead. Luckily no one was hurt. But the Honda Civic was totaled. The truck became half the size it originally was, and the front bumper part of the car fell off. I was concerned because the force of the impact had flung my iPod on the floor, but that's me.

Cops and tow trucks were called. Rusty escaped getting charged for the accident since it was blamed on road and weather conditions and a lack of stopping time. Instead, he got a $65 ticket for not having up to date paperwork in the truck with him for his insurance. The Honda and Rusty's truck had to be towed, since the cop wasn't sure if the alignment was damaged. After a fun trip to the mechanics and a ride in a tow truck that had pictures of Jesus taped up on the inside (I kept my laughter and comments to myself) the truck got the okay from the mechanic that it was driveable. Two hours later, with a slightly dented hood, non-functioning air conditioing, and a loosely tacked on bumper, we went to Swiss Chalet for lunch.

If only the story ended there. After lunch, Rusty backed into a wall in the parking lot bending his back bumper. I still demanded to be taken to Future Shop, so the trip wasn't a total write-off (for me anyway).

"Oh don't lean on me man, Cause you ain't got time to check it"

Dirk, Rusty and I went to the Dance Cave Saturday night for some boozing and dancing, both which were plentiful. Good music all around for a change although I was out numbered when I said AC/DC doesn't belong at the Cave. It should also be noted that this was sometime before mine and Dirk's sing-along to "Livin' on a Prayer" using beer bottles as microphones while sitting in the "welcoming booth" by the entrance. It also made me incredibly sad to realize that I was the only Bowie fan left... Sunday was pretty much as lazy as could be.

I took Monday off of work since I was sick and Rusty took off in the afternoon. Sick days aren't so bad- I watched The Great Dictator and found my Moby CD that I haven't seen since I lived on Bronson Ave in a box that I haven't opened in 3 years. I also found a sweet Scissor Sisters and Franz Ferdinand live cover of "Suffragette City"... "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" indeed. My sick days are providing me with time to give my books/CDs/DVDs that aren't coming to Japan a proper goodbye. And since I've also taken the day off today, I've had to bail out on some after-work drinks with my co-workers, but instead I get to go for sushi with Dirk and Angus; a much better deal indeed. I'm sick, but I'm not that sick. Sigh. 2 weeks to go, 8 more days at "work"...

"There's only room for one and here she comes"

"I know where you live, yeah, And I wanna live there too"
-I Don't Want to Know, The Donnas

So maybe I'm not going to Montreal afterall: Native protesters have blocked the CN rail tracks and lit bonfires on/around the tracks near Belleville. And it looks like Via is cancelling all trains between Toronto and Ottawa/Kingston/Montreal and replacing them with buses. I'll be damned if I'm going to catch a bus to Montreal at 6:30pm. And I'm not going to have a repeat of the August Black-Out, coincidentally I was also aiming to catch a train when I found out that "trains are runing on time" actually meant that trains were leaving Union Station and sitting on the tracks near Oshawa due to the huge line up. So it seems as though I am destined to spend the weekend in the city with the main probelms being that because Rusty is a carpenter, he doesn't work at home or near a phone, and the other is that I have to go to Union and get a refund. Sigh. So much for a last weekend with the boyfriend before I leave the country.

"I have a shirt that belongs to you, And I use it to guess all the things you do"

Oh well. This will cheer me up- my favourite Hard-Fi song has a new video:

Although the subject isn't that applicable, I'm going to adopt it as my karaoke song, although I doubt that it will ever be offered in a Japanese karaoke bar. So I'll just randomly sing it whenever I see fit.

Dan and I ended up vetoing our free passes for The Sentinel and it sounds like a good thing- I gave my passes to a freind who said it was terrible, although not as bad as you'd think for a movie starring Michael Douglas and Eva Longoria. Only Keifer Sutherland remains unscathed. I'm also coming

And that's pretty much been my day so far: watching the details of the protest unfold and surfing youtube.com for music videos. And making lists whic his directly caused by my findings of an old book of lists and an equally random and humourous "note book" from Martin Landau's film class. I use the term "note book" loosely as notes were never taken unless they were random musings, memories of "Jimmy" and quizzes and lists that Shane and I passed back and forth, in between readings of Entertainment Weekly. I also realized that I have completely forgotten professor Martin Landau's real name. He looks like this (which is coincidentally a picture of Martin Landau) but a little more disgruntled which some would mistake for wisdom or deep thought:


I revamped my celebrity crush list, in no particular order:

Ewan McGregor
Cillian Murphy
Eric Bana
Alex Kapranos
Bono (for nostalgic purposes at this point in time)

This list proves that:
a) I love foreigners
b) I love men in their 30s (okay not Bono, but again, nostalgia for 1993)
Maybe I need an Old Man of my own like Nat.

Today is our weekly trek for $3.99 grilled cheese sandwiches at Eggspectations, so I'd best get a move on.

"I don't wanna know if you don't want me, no"

"I gotta testify, come up in the spot looking extra fly, For the day you die, You gonna touch the sky"
-Touch the Sky, Kanye West

Some people actually do want to hear my opinions on music: I was invited to a Mix 99.9 listener panel last night. It was meant for women 24-44; I was clearly the youngest by at least 10 years. The rest were mom-types and one woman who looked like a shriveled baseball glove and pretended like she was 20 and wouldn't shut up. There were about 14 of us and it came with free dinner and free goodie bags (the real reason I went). Pretty boring and what I was expecting: What do you like/dislike about hte station, What kind of music, blah blah blah. The did ask the CanCon question to which i responded by telling them to stop playing Nickelback to meet their quota and up the Broken Social Scene, Stars, Dallas Green, Metric, anyone-other-than Michael Buble crap.

The goodie bag has it's pros- 2 packs of Bon Jovi mints! Free movie passes for...uh, The Sentinel (Dan and I are going tonight), movie passes for Akeelah and the Bee (gave them away since I'll be at Rusty's) , a Mix 99.9 t-shirt (Happy Father's Day Dad!) and $5- "What?! 5 dollars?! Get outta here!"

And the cons- Ontario Place passes (won't be here, hate Ontario Place, and thankfully no children; so I gave them away to a friend at work), a DVD of...wait for it...no, it's not Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical...it's Just Like Heaven. The good news is I'm going to see if I can exchange it for a store credit at HMV, if not, re-gifting; the book "He's Just Not That Into You" which is my most hated expression of the 21st Century (what do I care if he's not into me? It's his taste in music/film that counts) which I may either read and mock, re-gift, or just throw it out the window.

Still, it's all worth it.

Usually I could care less about getting things done but I realized that I have have 7 more nights in my apartment until my sublet comes and I camp out on Dan and Carrie-Anne's couch, 11 more days at work (the fuzzy math comes in when you realize that I'll be at Rusty's Fri-Mon), and a whopping 18 days until I depart. I've mentally planned out the CDs and DVDs I'm bringing, so as far as I'm concerend, the worst of it is over. It's just the packing up my room, the sorting of clothes, laundry, cleaning, and last minute freak-outs left. And my co-workers aren't helping me at all since they're all excited for me or want to talk about Japan, or other places to go, etc, etc, etc. Which brings me to the tedious task of cleaning out the junk I have accumulated at my desk:

In this picture you can make out ("Make out with me!"):

Ikea lamp, 2 plants- one dead, one alive, my travel calendar, Nick Nolte's mugshot, a picture of Bono that says "Your sweetheart is waiting for you" by sheer coincidence that my co-worker Caroline gave me, my mousepad, a picture of Tony, a cow paper holder, Nayeli's Chinese clock, a toy alligator, a small elephant, a small cat statue, a plastic Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants, my picture frame, a bunch of postcards, a picture of the U2 concert from May 2001, another plant, my chili pepper lights which have fallen into the empty desk on the other side of my wall, and my Tom Cruise quote where he demonstrates how crazy he is by calling Matt Lauer "glib."

And then there's the other half...

A picture of Peter Sarsgaard, a picture of Jerk Gyllenhall, a Bono 8x10 given to me by Caroline, a Napoleon Dynamite picture, the picture of Dirk with the article that Shane wrote in Dose that I found on the ground, a Shark Boy and Lava Girl pin from Nat's sister Mallory, a U2 keychain, a sign that says "I don't suffer from an addiction to Bono, I enjoy every second of it" from Caroline, a Bono picture form one of the ACC Vertigo shows, a variety of pictures, postcards, and clippings, concert ticket stubs for everything I've seen in the past year, and Pipin- the Christmas pheasant I turned into a crow for my Halloween costume 2 years ago. I also have to find my Carleton Alumni mug which is somewhere in the office.

And just because I was cleaning up my computer, I found a picture of my birthday cake, which is as delicious online as it was in real life, just like Alex "handsome in an ugly way" Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand who, I discovered, writes a weekly food column for The Guardian while the band is on tour. I added the link. I love food and unconventionally handsome, not too meaty, not too firm men.

"I'm, I'm sky high"

"I don't want clever conversation, I never want to work that hard, I just want someone that I can talk to, I want you just the way you are"
-Just the Way You Are, Billy Joel

Okay, since I love both lists and bandwagons, here goes my Top 20 albums, as propsed by the McNeils...a good 12 are incredibly predictable and an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters would have chosen those too.

Using a mathematical equation (or what I assume a mathematical equation would look like since I spent my formulative math years making lists and playing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon which has been infinitely more useful than the multiplication tables, but I digress...) I whittled my favourites into a Top 20. It made me realize that I listen to a lot of "Best Ofs" and "Greatest Hits" and live albums, which I had to leave off, as per the rules of the game, and also made me have to choose second and third favourites. I decided I would make my choices based on my Top 100 Songs of All-Time List and go from there with the songs that I can't live without when making some crucial decisions. In no particular order, other than the order I thought them up in...



http://www.hotfreelayouts.com/music.php


Okay, so why no Johnny Cash, or where is Kind of Blue? Because as much as I LOVE songs by Cash or Miles Davis, they placed lower on my list of greatest songs than say, "Watching the Detectives" or "You Can't Always Get What You Want." And surprise, no Duran Duran- although I love them- they don't have an album that I love enough as a whole. There are a few that I could change, but happen to be feeling a particular one at this moment in time, like Hard-Fi. And we all know I could have made this list entirely out of The Clash, U2, REM, and Bowie.

"You always have my unspoken passion, Although I might not seem to care"

“I do believe it’s true, That there are roads left in both of our shoes, If the silence takes you, Then I hope it takes me too”
-Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie

The Death Cab/Franz Ferdinand show that I went to with Dan and Carrie was great. Franz is a much better band when you’re on the floor instead of in the stands like the last time. Although I must say that I did dance more last time I saw them since Dirk and Nayeli are bigger Franz fans and both love to dance, but we still had fun.

Franz mixed up their setlist from the last time they were here, playing some different tunes and switching up the batting order a bit. Alex Kapranos is still handsome in an ugly way. They seemed to plow right through it and were off the stage in a little over an hour. I don’t have any complaints about the band or songs they did/didn’t play, but I will complain about the crowd. The problem with all ages shows is that there are underage kids like the couple of 16 year olds in front of us who made out for ¾ of the concert. We shook our heads in disgust. I also shoved some people which, as you know, shows I had a good time. I took some pics and video, but since we were so close to the speakers, it sounds a bit distorted but you get the idea. Here’s “Do You Want To”-



“Cause you’re the only song I want to hear, A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere”

Admittedly, I am not a Death Cab for Cutie fan. I can appreciate them, but I don’t love them. If Franz hadn’t been playing then I wouldn’t have bothered. They have their songs that I like but I found my mind wandering during some of their songs, thinking about what I was going to eat when I got home, what I was going to wear today, and how it’s possible that I’ll end up seeing Franz Ferdinand in Japan at the Fuji Rock Festival. Death Cab played a longer set, and had a more elaborate stage set-up with little houses. I kept waiting for someone to pop out of them, which would have been entertaining as I thought about what to eat. At one point I realized that the fire alarm was going off and emergency lights around the arena were flashing. I had just thought the alarm was some sort of musical accoutrement. It seemed to bother the band, as I suppose it would, but you could hardly hear it over the music. Dan, Carrie-Anne, and I started making jokes that we were going to be trapped in the burning Ricoh Coliseum. I was mad that if we were to suffocate to death, I didn’t even know the name of the song the band was playing. Meh. Here’s another Franz video of "Michael", which is still in the process of being uploaded, so it may not work for a bit. But you can watch it here when it's good and ready.


I also managed to escape without purchasing anything which is a rare occasion. The Franz shirts were mildly ugly, it was the same selection of shirts that they had at their October show, and the lines were too long. The Death Cab shirts were nice, but since I don’t care that much for them, it would have been blasphemy to wear one. I just tell myself that I really don’t need another concert t-shirt (although I secretly don’t believe myself).

“So they may have a chance of finding a placewhere they’re far more suited than here”

I haven’t accomplished anything at work today, other than finish uploading some pictures and videos, look for flights to Japan so Shane can visit Eve and I, enter contests, read emails, update this beast, and try to get "Soul Meets Body" out of my head. So basically a typical day in my life.

“Cause you’re the only song I want to hear”

"I cannot guess what we'll discover, We turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels"
-Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie

Because I am in an musically induced good mood, I've finally uploaded 2 videos from the Coldplay show at the end of March. Why am I in such a good mood (other than that I have the day off work)? I present, a list:

a) I found my copy of "Combat Rock" by The Clash, misplaced in an R.E.M. "Monster" CD case by sheer luck, having misplaced The Cash CD in when I moved into my new bedroom.

b) I'm reading "High Fidelity" and have decided that if the character Rob were a real person, I would be madly in love with him, as I am with the John Cusack film version. Sigh.

c) I found my old VHS copy of The Commitments while at home this weekend after a brief search spurred on by the use of "Whiter Shade of Pale" lyrics in my Thursday blog...Okay so maybe only Shane (obviously) and possibly Lauren might even know what I'm even talking about. Either way, it's been one of my favourite films since I was about 11 and I was happy to have found it.

d) The Cribs (who I'm seeing tonight), JET, Snow Patrol, Sonic Youth, and The Zutons have been added to the line-up Fuji Rock Festival that Eve and I are planning on going too. Anyone want to come visit us in July?

e) Tonight is the Franz Ferdinand/ Death Cab for Cutie concert and Dan, Carrie-Anne and I have floor tickets.

f) The Glastonbury 2005 festival is on Much More Music today.

So now I will continue cleaning my room to a random assortment of Franz Ferdinand, REM, and The Clash.

(The embeddable player isn't working, so I'll link it later)

Coldplay- Yellow


Coldplay- Square One

"I do believe it’s true, That there are roads left in both of our shoes"

"We skipped the light fandango, turned cartwheels 'cross the floor"
-Whiter Shade of Pale, Procol Harum

I can tell it's gonna be a good day today- It's 20 degrees out, I'm wearing flip flops, I bought some pants off of eBay, and I caught my favourite episode of "Saved by the Bell" on TV this morning. It's the one where Jessie, Kelly and Lisa form the band Hot Sundae and Jessie gets hopped up on caffeine pills and utters one of my all-time favourite lines: "No time! There's never any time!!" Poor Jessie. She has nothing but time now. And Showgirls, and a recurring character on "Law & Order."

Thank God tomorrow is Good Friday because I can't handle another day of work. I'm losing my mind and I'm glad to have Monday off too. At least all my free time at work is allowing me to conquer numerous books (but you, A Confederacy of Dunces). But I'll have lots to write about on Tuesday after teh Death Cab for Cutie/Franz Ferdinand concert. We have floor tickets so hopefully I'll have some pictures too. I'm slowly getting myself ready for the big Japan move with some last minute shopping while I'm at home this weekend and have access to a car.

"She said there is no reason, and the truth is plain to see"

And in some other sad news, we must mourn the passing of Puivis as his life was tragically ended by a car on Sunday night (hence the song choice of the day which my dad requests I play at his funeral, followed by Another One Bites the Dust to lighten the mood). He is survived by his mother Natalie and his sisters/brothers from other mothers, as well as Paper Mache Puivis. And now let us look back on his short life and the memories he left us with such as the time he destroyed all that I hold dear, the time he climbed Shirley's curtains, the way he used to gnaw on the corners of concrete walls, the way he would warm his ass on the internet router, his love of showing his nipples, the way he peed in Natalie's bed, his love for "America's Next Top Model," the way he loved men so very much, the way he shat on all the rugs in our apartment, and for his great fashion sense in terms of his puffy vest and pink Kanye West sweater. And now, a photo retrospective:

Paper Mache Puivis meets the real Puivis: Which one is which?

One blue eye, one green eye

Puivis wearing the tube top I made him

Puivis climbing up Shirley's curtains. I egged him on and took pictures of him instead of telling him to get down, but we all hated Shirley and her ugly curtains anyway.

I may re-write my euology called "Shelley Winters: We Hardly Knew Ye" to conform to Puivis' standards.

"And although my eyes were open, they might just as well been closed"

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal are engaged AND pregnant! Well, one of them is pregnant, but which one? I wouldn't put it past that wily Sarsgaard. Sarsgaard, you've broken my heart.

I like both of them, but I was secretly saving myself for Peter Sarsgaard. He seemed like the kind of guy who would kick a small child. Kinda like David Hasselhoff...

I shall retreat and watch me some Shattered Glass or The Skeleton Key.

"We're gonna dance like there is no... no tomorrow, whatever the hang-up, we're getting a gang-up, and we are gonna have us some fun"
-Is Everybody Happy, David Hasselhoff (*note: I have never heard this song before but I searched for Hoff lyrics and this was the most approripate as it sounds like David is coming to get you with a gang of hoodlums to break your kneecaps in a West Side Story-like musical revue)

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday: Do not use a binder filled with semi-important work documents to prop open your window in a 5th floor office because it will fall out the window onto Richmond St, and nearly kill an old man. But the papers and the binder itself remained intact, so all is well. I actually did run down 5 flights of stairs to retrieve it. And then I ran back into the office to hide. Today I am propping up the window with a VHS tape since it's 17 degrees out. I've learned from my mistake. If David Hasselhoff worked here, he would use the bones of small children to prop open his window. Afterall, this is the man I'm talking about: "Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down."

And it turns out that the place where I got offered a job in Japan is way too far to commute to. Too far for even David Hasselhoff.

Onwards and upwards. Back to the Bono collage I was making out of old newspaper clippings for Caroline. What will I ever do with all of my free time once I quit and move to Japan? This 9 to 5 is stressful.

*it's also hilarious to point out that this is the way the lyrics are written for emphasis on pronunciation. I'm glad whoever wrote it made that clear because if there is anything wrong with today's youth, it's poor pronunciation of Hoff songs:
"I-if you're worried and ful-full of trouble, come on dow-down and it will pop like a buuuuble"

“I saw them stars go off, I saw them stars go off at night, and they're looking alright”
- I Turn My Camera On, Spoon

Just your usual day at the office and around the city- making paper clip men, going out with co-workers for a long lunch at Eggspectations for $3.99 grilled cheese sandwiches, picking up my Japan visa, making origami pianos and cups, and being grimaced at by a woman on the streetcar. Oh well. Soon I'll be off of this continent....28 days (and I don't mean that awful Sandra Bullock movie).

“I feel me slippin away”

Rusty and Natalie came for the weekend bearing goods from the Hershey Factory with Easter-y marshmallow goodness. We hit up Jack Astor’s for dinner and lo and behold, just as we sit down, the TV changes from golf coverage to- how can this be? Am I imagining this?- U2: Go Home, Live at Slane Castle. Made my chicken fingers even more delicious.

Saturday we shopped it up at Yorkdale. Well, Nat did all the shopping. I only managed to spend money on some Greek food for lunch and become irate at the amount of children. I came out of H&M and HMV unscathed, without any purchases. This saving money is a new thing for me and it’s working…but then again, I didn’t know about my massive income tax return at that point either, so we’ll see how this week goes. After dinner, we met up with Dirk at the Red Room for pitchers and more snacks. Deciding we were all either too old, too sick, too cheap, or too lazy to go out dancing, we called it a night after 1am. There is a chance that Dirk and I will be roommates for a brief weekend when his sublet moves in and he becomes homeless. Although with my parents moving out most of my personal stuff on April 29th for my sublet to move in May 1st, we will both have to sleep huddled together on the futon with throw pillows and random jackets and scarves of roommates past as blankets. And then find ourselves homeless May 1st before Dirk leaves for Amsterdam and before I move in with Dan and Carrie-Anne. We could possibly rectify this situation by a (Monday) night of heavy drinking and with then Dirk hopping on a plane, and me sleeping it off at work.

“I turn my camera oni cut my fingers on the way”

Sunday proved much lazier as we went out for waffles, and walked through the High Park zoo. I spotted blood on a fluffy brute’s horn and decried that there had been some gorging afoot. We then saw a deer that looked like Puivis with a big tuft of fur stuck to its antlers, proving again that there had been some beast on beast combat. Nat has the footage on film, so when I get a hold of the photographic evidence, I shall post it here. The weekend also allowed us to cover all of season 2 of "Arrested Development" in its entirety.

PS- Mairin and Shane, the David Hasselhoff email had me in tears, and Nat rolling on the floor. I especially liked the one about teh Hoff creating the phrase "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse"...

“You made me untouchable for life, yeah and you wasn't polite”

“I've got a brain like a jukebox, Hey, didn't you kill my brother?”
-Didn’t You Kill My Brother, Alexei Sayle

My friends/co-workers Martha and Tony and I are having an inappropriate wedding song contest to find the worst song for a first dance. Guess who’s winning? Yeah that’s right. Me. And the game wasn’t even my idea. I just happen to have a wealth of knowledge when it comes to these sorts of things.

“I like North Korean sherry, Hey didn't you kill my brother?”

You’ve got your usual (note: These aren’t all my suggestions):

Everyday I Love You Less and Less- Kaiser Chiefs
Love Stinks- J. Geils Band
You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi
We Built this City- Jefferson Starship
Mr. Roboto- Styx
Superfreak- Rick James
How Can We Be Lovers- Michael Bolton
The Final Countdown- Europe
Dude Looks Like a Lady- Aerosmith
Hit the Road Jack- Ray Charles
Beat It- Michael Jackson
The End- The Doors
Killing Me Softly- Roberta Flack
Momma Said Knock You Out- LL Cool J
Part Time Lover- Stevie Wonder
Get it On (Bang a Gong)- The Power Station
Party All the Time- Eddie Murphy

I think the real icing on the cake was my addition of: I Said I Loved You But I Lied by one Michael Bolton. Which I then sang on Church St. to prove my point.

Lists like these are what happens when you take extended lunch breaks with co-workers.

“You're the best pal a girl ever had, I wouldn't drop you for another"

That’s all for now- Rusty and Natalie are coming to town for the weekend where there will be much shopping and drinking and dance caving with Dirk and Alanna.

…this song still makes me laugh…too bad I can't find the video online.

“I like strangling budgies, I’m what you’d call an animal lover”

"Here it comes the breeze, That´ll blow away, All your reason & your sin"
-La Breeze, Simian

It’s book report time! Since I’m on a mission to polish off as many books as I can before heading off to Japan, I’ve ended up reading several good books, in between the long and treacherous A Confederacy of Dunces which I have been reading off and on for approximately 102 days. So here is a book that I recommend and I know not everyone will like, but hear me out:

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach.

You too can be called “morbid” and “disgusting” by a woman on the streetcar for reading it. Actually she may have called me “morbidly disgusting” but its all semantics.

The book is about what you think it’s about: dead bodies. Bodies of people who have donated themselves to science for organ harvesting, practice facelifts, as crash test dummies, and as decaying flesh in a corpse farm so CSI’s can accurately place times of death on murder victims. It’s really interesting, and actually, laugh out loud funny. The least you can do is amuse others while you laugh out loud while reading a book about corpses. It’s also gives insight to people who are never thought to be crazy, but actually are, like Thomas Edison, who thought that our memories were controlled by little people who live in our brain and in order for us to recall a past event, we had to wait until those little people returned to the helm as they worked in some sort of shift work schedule.

I did skip the parts about bodies in plane crashes since:
A) I don’t like to fly. I’m not afraid to, but seeing as how I’ll be on a plane in some 30 odd (Foot of Grunts ??) days, I thought it best to skip or I’ll start reliving scenes from Alive. I would just rather get there by boat, mule, or roller skates. Or by a mule wearing roller skates on a boat.
B) At the exact moment I turned to the plane crash chapter, my dad was flying to Florida.

But a very good book indeed.

"So do your best to run away "

I applied for my visa this week and get to pick it up on Monday, and I also got offered a job in Japan to be an assistant language teacher. Working half-assed and applying to random jobs on the internet- qualified or not- pays off. Although I think the job is too much of a commute and may very well end up costing me more to get to this place called Tomioka than I would actually make, but it is on a beach on the Pacific. Either way, it’s good to know that I have some translatable skills for teaching English in Japan. Especially since I love children and all (Must stop being sarcastic- Japanese won’t understand).

I think it’s pretty hilarious to think of me teaching English to children. As you own father said, “You? Teach English? To kids? Will they let you?” My dad thinks I would throw away any lesson plan and teach children what music to listen to and what movies to watch. “Today boy and girls, we are going to learn about the importance of Joe Strummer and the meaning of ‘Play Out of Control! Take off your pants!’”

In other music-related, sweet news, Eve and I are aiming to attend the fabulous Fuji Rock Festival in Nagano at the end of July. I’m crossing my fingers to see Scissor Sisters, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Hives, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. And of course, old standbys like Franz Ferdinand and Broken Social Scene are a plus.

I also suggest that we all start our own National Playlist via email or blog comments. Pitches anyone? Anything to keep me from working.

"You can´t hide, Theres no place to hide"

Top 5 Songs Lodged in my Head as I Toil Away at Work:

Le Le Low- Hot Hot Heat
Pop Muzik- M
O Green World- Gorillaz
Moody Monday- Damien Rice
Less is More- Joss Stone

"Here comes the breeze"

“Bright morning lights, Wipe the sleep from another day's eye”
-Another Time, Another Place, U2

Uh oh…Japan might prove to be a lot more fun and interesting for me- and those who know me- as I just discovered this fact on a “How to Survive in Japan Guide”:

Sarcastic remarks are not well taken in Japan because there's no concept of them (they won't know you're joking)

And, a lesser deal:

Excessive physical or eye contact (handslapping, pointing) is regarded as aggressive in Japan and should be avoided

So I guess that rules out both high and low fives, head-butting, and ass grabbing. Damn. Speaking of grabbing ass, I saw a Tom Green special on MTV as he wandered around Ottawa and visited my favourite store: The International House of Cheese. I guess there are some things that I miss about Ottawa. Cheese and the “Tom Green Incident of Aught 4” where asses were grabbed/caressed by myself and Mairin.

As well:

It's considered rude to use your chopsticks for pointing. > I had never thought about this, but I feel like pointing chopsticks could help me illustrate my point.

“I awoke with a feeling of never before”

As my departure date for Japan grows closer (34 days) I’ve been tying up loose ends, prepping to say goodbye to people and things I won’t see for a while (not really since so many people are coming to Japan to visit), and slowly starting to transfer junk out of my bedroom and over to my parent’s house to prepare for my room to be sublet for the summer. And I’ve been reading the aforementioned guides about Japan. After all, I need something to do at work.

I’m trying to get in all the movie watching and book reading I can before I take off. I’m concurrently reading 3 books and, for once, I’m kinda glad that there aren’t too many interesting prospects in theatres that I feel I want to see, other than Inside Man and possibly American Dreamz, which lets me focus on DVD rentals through Zip.ca.

“Turn away from the wall, And there's Nothing at all”

Top 5 Songs that Are Stuck in my Head Today:

Shadows and Tall Trees- U2
Neighbourhood # 2 (Laika)- The Arcade Fire
The Third Man (Harry Lime) Theme- Anton Karas
Locked Out- Crowded House
Wild Wood- Paul Weller

“Another time, another place”

"Looks just like the sun, looks just like it"
-Looks Just Like the Sun, Broken Social Scene

If you think you can’t subsist on free food samples, you’d be wrong.
Sofia and I hit the One of a Kind craft show, more out of boredom than a love of crafts on Sunday. It was pretty mundane and boring until we hit the food aisles where vendors invited us to try everything from chocolate covered cherries and various mustards that we could dip pretzels in, to a Greek bakery’s samples and vodka, rum, and sake flavoured dips. Samples are also the reason I love visiting Costco, especially around lunchtime and especially at Costco’s that have a donut machine. My life revolves around food.

Other than that, not much happening over le weekend. I made an obligatory stop at home in good ole Thorold to run some errands and visit with my grandparents for my birthday. Luckily, it was decided by my family that I should have yen for my birthday instead of DVDs and CDs and books, which are the norm for me for any special occasion involving gifts. Perhaps I can reap the rewards of Easter in yen instead of Easter eggs. Or yen filled Easter eggs which would be the best of both worlds.

I skipped watching the Nickelback infested Junos in favour of a rerun of Lost, but did manage to catch the Bryan Adams montage for his induction into whatever it was or lifetime achievement award, Broken Social’s win for Alternative Album, and a performance by that great Canadian band, Coldplay. And I groaned at Michael Buble once. I was a little curious as to why Bryan Adams would choose to play his song "18 ‘til I Die" instead of "Summer of ’69" or some other anthem because "everywhere he goes, the kids wanna rock." I must say, Bryan Adams always looks the same, except when he went though his greasy hair phase…circa when I saw him play at Maple Leaf Gardens. I also watched The Ice Harvest which has to be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Even with the lovable John Cusack who’s films I usually adore (not you Must Love Dogs and Serendipity). Thank God I had watched Fargo earlier so my movie watching wasn’t a total write-off.

Other than the weather, I have nothing to complain about- How can it be 15 degrees today and sunny/rainy and then be 0 tomorrow with a chance of snow? Ah, Canadian weather. Here’s hoping things level out soon so I can put the winter coat away for good.

“I'm on the corner thinking about my bed"