"And they turn into monsters, Turning us into fire"
-Kids with Guns, Gorillaz

Christmas has come and gone and now I can start cleaning and making room for new DVDs, books, and CDs (I love you, new Gorillaz CD) in my collection since that's the majority of what my gifts were (and clothes, as if I need more of those too). I feel like I was asleep for this Christmas as it all came and went so fast. I was still shopping on Christmas Eve, and finished my wrapping at 830pm on the 24th. Hopefully everyone else had an enjoyable Christmas.

Not much exciting is going on, unless you count my impending dentist appointment, which is kinda fun because I like going to the dentist. And of course, all the holiday shopping. I love sales, especially when WalMart has DVDs on 2 for $5 (except they all suck) so I upped it for 2 for $15 (Bubble Boy and Can't Buy Me Love?! Sweet). And Rusty is coming ot stay for a few days so we'll hit the mall and a movie tonight.

The unintentionally weirdest gift received by a member of my family was John Cleese hosting a DVD called Wine for the Confused. That's not the weird part. The weird part is that when you put the DVD in and it starts playing automatically, it plays that (horrible, in my opinion) Denys Arcand film, The Decline of the American Empire. Like the entire film is there. With subtitles and all. Weird. When you hit the menu button you get the John Cleese show, but still. Bizarre. Back to Costco you go, DVD.

I was also the recipient of a Shout About Music DVD. Anyone who is up for a challenge can play me. Byt he end of the game, the DVD didn't even tell me my numerical score, but instead just said I won by "lots and lots" of points (I figured around 146).

That's all for now, I'm off to read on of the many books I now own, in addition to the 4 books I was simultaneously reading pre-Xmas. And Back to T.O. tomorrow (or Friday).

OVERRATED: The Decline of the American Empire.
UNDERRATED: Ernest Saves Christmas (which I'm sad to say I missed this year)

"Easy does it, easy does it, they got something to say "no" to"

“Throw you arms around the world, at Christmastime.”
-Do They Know It’s Christmas, Band-Aid

Apologies for the lack of post-age yesterday. We had a staff meeting at work and afterwards we were all treated to wine and/or beer and chips, thus rendering the afternoon a write-off…not that I had gotten much accomplished in the a.m. either. See, I told you I work at a great place and love my job. Where else can I have free wine in the afternoon and then show a careless disregard for my duties because it was the company itself who plied me with alcoholic beverages?

It’s more of the same today, actually. Well, I am working this morning at quite a frenzied pace so I can slack this afternoon. A few of my friends here and I will be having a leisurely lunch with wine at one of Toronto’s fine establishments (possibly Eggspectations, so I revoke the term “fine”) and then coming back to work, happily mildly inebriated to while away the rest of the afternoon, hoping to get out of here early. And I need to stop at the mall too.

I’m pretty much finished my entire Christmas shopping, save for a trip to the sock outlet in Niagara Falls tomorrow. You heard me. There is a sock outlet. And it is there that I shall purchase some socks, the last item on my shopping list. And then comes the Christmas wrapping (as opposed to Christmas rapping which only occurs after large amounts of alcohol or eggnog has been consumed…so possibly this afternoon).

So what did I ask for for Christmas? Well I think I’m easy to shop for. My list breaks down into 4 distinct categories each year: DVDs, CDs, Books, and “Other,” which usually contains gift certificates for DVDs, CDs, and books. I’m heading home tonight and I’ll probably take in a movie at home. Perhaps one of my favourite Christmas ones like Hook (I count it as a Christmas film because I once saw it on Christmas Eve with my Dad at the theatre), or Scrooged.

I’m really looking forward to turkey. I love Christmas food, and on occasion, will actually eat the fruitcake that my Mom has had in the freezer for 3 years.

This is likely my last post for a while, since I’ve slagged off work next week (office is closed ‘til the 3rd) but I will post sometime after Christmas as lots will be happening, especially with Eve, Rusty, and Kate visiting. So I offer you a treat that I just now made up in 10 minutes, remix of “The Night Before Christmas” that doesn’t always rhyme.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the centipedes under the refrigerator;
The empty bottles were left by the chimney with care,
In hopes that some alcohol soon would be there;

The Forseys were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of David Hasselhoff danced in their heads;
And Nayeli with y gato negra, and I in my U2 Vertigo shirt,
Had just settled down for a long night cap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Pushed the cat out of the way and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But an old grisly hobo, drunk on cheap beer.

With a little old liver, so dried up and bad,
I knew in a moment it must be your Dad.
More sluggish than alcoholics, his lushes they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Surly! now, Tipsy! now, Sleazy and Queasy!
On, Remorseful! on Dizzy! on, Edgy and Steve!
To the edge of the park! to the top of the pass!
Now dash away! dash away! Before I kick you in the ass!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the bar the drunken hobos, they flew,
With a shopping cart full of bottles, and your Mom, too (Y tu mama tambien).

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street
The clattering and singing of each liquoured-up man.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Surly came with a bound.

He was dressed like a pimp, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of liquor he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler he was, just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they rolled! his appearance, how scary!
He gave me a drink, topped off with a cherry!
His smug little mouth was forced into a sneer,
As he dug in his bag and handed out beer;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a round beer belly,
That shook, when he lunged like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chummy and drunk, a right jerk-like old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, out of spite, myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bottles; then turned to the Jerk,
And bumping into the wall and stepping on the cat,
And giving me the finger, out the door he stumbled;

He sprang to his shopping cart, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they grumbled and swore like sailors, as I listened.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Merry fuckin’ Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."


For my friends I give:

For Dirk- an all-expenses paid pass for Body Worlds
For Leanne- a new Kelly Clarkson CD
For Mairin- dancing David Hasselhoffs and a “Don’t Hassle the Hoff” sign
For Nayeli- a futbol
For Kate- a delicious sandwich
For Shane- an Adam “How many spoons have you got now?” Clayton “October” t-shirt
For Dan- a new van to scratch for the next time you’re transportation coordinator on a movie
For Rusty- better taste in music and U2 tickets
For Natalie- a Shirley Voodoo doll
For the Old Man- a clone of Puivis (Puivis Purvis at last!)
For Eve- a plane ticket home and Dangerous Dan’s burgers
For Heidi- a Time magazine with a nice picture of Bono on the cover
For Sharifa- a very tall man

And for anyone else I forgot, lots of beer!

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Krazy Kwanzaa and a Happy festivus for the rest of us!

OVERRATED: The kindness of strangers.
UNDERRATED: The power of Boy George to unite others in angry debate

“Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?”

“I scratch a living, it ain't easy , You know it's a drag”
-Cash Machine, Hard-Fi

It’s another average day here at work- just hanging out, eating cookies, reading Entertainment Weekly and Variety, having useless discussions, and blogging. I was also making origami hats and pianos out of post-its. I’m too lazy and tired today to do anything else. Everday I'm thankful for my job. I'd like to give shout outs to everyone else who can blog at work!

Once again, I think I’m catching a cold, which makes me extra sleepy. I’ve been setting my alarm clock to wake up at 7:37am, rolling out the door by 8:15, and arriving at work sometimes around 9am where I then drink tea and complain about the streetcar. I’m so not a morning person and need at least 9 hours of sleep to function, unless I’ve been drinking. Maybe I should take up drinking each night so I’m wide awake in the morning (See Saturday’s post as an example). I’d get so much more done. That’s so many more origami hats that I could be making in the time it takes me to figure out how to function in the morning. Although the afternoon nap part might pose a problem, once I get sleepy around 3:30pm…It’s not like I still work in the cemetery where naps are a common and welcome occurrence. Especially in the mausoleum.

“But you can't look back, I wonder if I'll ever get, To where I want to be”

I thought I would go to the movies (for the 6th time in 8 days) tonight, but like I said before, I’m lazy and tired. So possibly tomorrow night. I have a stack of DVDs I haven’t watched yet.

Okay, Toronto people! Download some music by Hard-Fi, like “Hard to Beat,”” Better do Better,” and “Cash Machine,” pay $15 and come see them in concert with me Jan. 20th. They’re British and Kaiser Chiefs-esque! Non-Toronto friends, convince city friends to go to the concert with me, because no one listens to me. That's why I had to get a blog.

“No no, this can't be right, I live an honest life”

OVERRATED: That mug I was using with the broken handle that just broke apart and shattered on the floor. Clean up on aisle 6!
UNDERRATED: The ability to chat on MSN, read mags, write a blog, make origami, eat cookies, and still maintain a high level of productivity in the workplace. I think I might bring in some board games. Someone will have to play Scene It with me eventually…

“It seems like sometimes, You don't cross the line”

“We’re having a reggae Christmas- Down in Jamaica! We’re having a good time too!”
-Reggae Christmas, Bryan Adams
*I dedicate this to Sharifa who is at home in Jamaica for Christmas*

This post will be short and sweet, just the way I like it and is more to appease those who email me to complain when I don’t update my blog because they need it as a procrastination aid (ahem, Kate…). And I’m freaking out with the amount of work I have both in the office and in Xmas prep work. Also of note, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same after seeing Bob Hoskins fully naked in Mrs. Henderson Presents. Roger Rabbit will never be viewed in the same light.

“Christmas is nice in Germany, If ya like being up to your knees in snow- oh no”

The day started off well when I woke up to Much More Music playing Jingle Bell Rock by Hall and Oates. I love Oates! And spurred on by a conversation with Malcolm, Phil, and Caro yesterday, I give you a list (because you know I love them) of my favourite Christmas/Winter/Holiday songs. Download them and make a playlist for holiday cheer.

-Reggae Christmas- Bryan Adams (the video features Pee Wee Herman)
-Jingle Bell Rock- Hall and Oates
-Do They Know it’s Christmas- Band-Aid (the original one, not the 2004 version…also of note, “The Making of Do They Know It’s Christmas” TV special is banned from being played in my house by my mother for over-playing it circa 1999).
-Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)- U2
-Baby, It’s Cold Outside- performed by pretty much anyone
-Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas- Judy Garland
-Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy- David Bowie and Bing Crosby
-Holly Jolly Christmas- Burl Ives (it just makes me happy to think of singing snowmen)
-The Chipmunk Christmas Song
-Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree- Brenda Lee
-Happy Christmas/War is Over- John Lennon
-Run Rudolph Run- Chuck Berry
-Winter Wonderland- Chet Baker
-You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
-Last Christmas- Wham!
-It Feels Like Christmas- Various muppets and Michael Caine
-Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)- The Ramones

Most of these remind me of Home Alone…

“It's just as cold up in Canada - got to find another place to go...”

Oooh and my Peter Sarsgaard/Jerk Gyllenhaal/Jamie Foxx autographed EW magazine came in the mail. As I told Kate, it looks good enough to lick! And it came with 2 4x6 photos of the Sars and Jerk signing the mag which are now hanging on my office wall.

“I wanna get away from New York, wanna find a better place to be - Paris...”

OVERRATED: The cover of Time for their Persons of the Year Issue. That’s one of the worst pictures of Bono I’ve seen in a while. For someone who is trying ot save the world, they should have picked a better picture.
UNDERRATED: The power of a list to unite people in joy, anger, and spark endless debates. Another reason to look forward to those endless “Year End Review” TV shows, radio countdowns, magazine spreads, etc.

“Merry Christmas and a reggae new year to you"

"If it's just the same or even worse, Than reading poems to a horse"
-Poem to a Horse, Shakira
*I've never actually heard this song, but I always ask Nayeli if she's listening to Shakira. In reading the lyrics, this song is completely ridiculous...and I like how "Horse" is rhymed with "Worse"*

Sunday was my Movie Marathon Day with Dan. Approximately 6.5 hours of movies in one day! $32 later, we had seen Brokeback Mountian, The Squid and the Whale, and The Family Stone- quite a diverse line-up between epic romances (or near romances), a divorce story, and a sad family holiday comedy. This is really more like Movie Marathon Week, since I'm off to the movies tonight and plan on catching one or two more before I go home for Christmas.

Brokeback Mountain was a good choice to see. I think it will rightfully receive Oscar nominaions for Best Picture, Director, Adapted Story, and Best Actor (Heath Ledger). I think by this point in time everyone knows that this is the "gay cowboy" movie, but that's no where near what the film is actually about. It is an epic romance which spans 20 years or so and focuses on two men, while not gay, who share a love and a bond between them, how they deal with their feelings and how one summer on Brokeback Mountain affects the rest of their lives. Their long-suffering wives, played by Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway (I'll never look at The Princess Diaries in the same light) also fit into the film nicely as they either know or deny their husbands' attraction to one another. It's worth seeing, although I find that Ang Lee's directing is a bit formulatic, the cinematography is breathtaking at some points. Jerk Gyllennhalal is never that convincing as a cowboy, especially when he has a mustache that makes him look like Geraldo Rivera.

"You're to far to bring you close, And too high to see below, just hangin' on your daily dose"

Dan and I then saw The Squid and the Whale, a divorce story that's both comic and at some points disturbing. It's been a while since I've seen Jeff Daniels in anything good, so it's nice ot see him here. One disturbing part, which Dan realized half way through the film, is that Jeff Daniels played Anna Paquin's Dad in Fly Away Home. Here, she plays a young university student of his who is attracted to hima nd there are even some make-out scenes. Once Dan memtioned Fly Away Home, the film took a bizarre turn where I kept thinking about that little girl and all those geese.

"Feed your empty brain with your hydroponic pot"

We finished the evening up with some nachoes and The Family Stone, a movie which is sadder than I expected. Luke Wilson is hilarious (and also my favourite of the Wilson's I think) and I love Rachel McAdams and Sarah Jessica Parker, even though neither of them play fully likeable cahracters...Actually Rachel McAdams' character reminded me of me, and I don't know if that's a good thing. During one of the most climactic and emotional scenes, I noticed this angry pumpkin face- like a kid's Halloween construction paper pumpkin face- on the wall in the background. Once I saw that and said something to Dan, I was in tears of laughter as this angry pumpkin face was in the background of every shot while the character's on screen are crying. I'm laughing now thinking about that face. Sometimes I wish I hadn't studied film so I wouldn't notice things in the background, but get Dan and I together- two people with BA's in Film and the same bizarre sense of humour- and it's almost hysterical. Ahhh pumpkin face, the real star and scene stealer of the film, which is saying a lot since Craig T. Nelson, TV's "Coach" is also in the film.

"I'd rather eat my soup with a fork, Or drive a cab in New York, Cuz to talk to you is harder work "

That's it! Nayeli has left me. I now have zero female friends in the city. Well, almost. Leanne and Sharifa are still here but we rarely go out together, although I like them! Now that everyone's favourite Mexican (other than Gael Garcia Bernal, that is) has returned to her native home, I am all alone! So here is a Nayeli retrospective in pictures. Unfortunately, some of the funniest pictures are not digital, but regular old 35mm ones that I don't have on my computer. So here's the best ones i could find! I also convinced her to start a blog (and I made her promise not to call it The Mexican Experience...sorry ladies). I voted it be called No Habla Espanol. But we'll see...


Nayeli at Dance Cave this weekend, with my beer in the foreground.

Nayeli loves to dance. here is a picture of her dancing. Most of my pictures are of her dancing. We dance when the camera isn't on too.

This was our final night in Ottawa as a university family. We all piled into Natalie's bed, took purity tests, gossiped, and talked about nothing. You know- the usual. not one person int hat bed is in the city with me now.

Same night, more fun.

Here Nayeli is in her "Say What?!" pose at the Honest Lawyer.

Much to our surprise, she actually graduated! Okay, NOT REALLY. She's one smart girl. I'm surprised she didn't graduate sooner.

Another one of those drunken dancing pictures from Revival this summer. I have a lot of pictures of me with other people like this. I'm just camera-happy. I can't help it. But we're haivng fun!

"I bet you'll find someone like you, Cuz there's a foot for every shoe "

OVERRATED: Shakira. Then again, I don't think she's rated at all...

UNDERRATED: The ability of an angry pumpkin face to make or break a movie.

"I wish you luck but I've got other things to do"

"It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest"
-The Fly, U2

Wow. I haven't had THAT much to drink in a long time. Disclaimer- everyone in these pictures is extremely intoxicated. And more pictures to come!

We gathered to say goodbye to Naeyli as she leaves Canadian soil.Topher, Shane, Nayeli, and I went to the Green Room for drink, nachoes, and some light reading with all of the paperback novels conveniently stacked on a shelf next to us. Personal fave- World's Greatest Dad, complete with a Tom Sellick-ian painting of a guy with a mustache.

"Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief, All kill their inspiration and sing about their grief"

Now my main problem when I drink is that I don't sleep. For example, I usually stumble home and watch High Fidelity which has become my token drunk movie. I don't really know why. You don't need to be drunk to enjoy it. Drinking makes it better though for yelling our quotes thoguh. I guess watching High fidelity is better than that time I came home from Zaphod's and watched 3 hours of ITV Children's Literature class. You have to do your homework sometimes, kids!

So after the Green Room we stumbled/slid (well I did) over to Dance Cave. Shane and I were the first in and turned around and Nayeli and Topher were still outside. When suddenly it dawned on us that Stars were having a concert right then and there in the downstairs tha tis Lee's Palace. While we waited for the Mexican, we lurked in the shadows of the hallway and saw Stars perform "Ageless Beauty" before Nayeli, sans Topher, came in. And for the record, Ageless Beauty is my least fave Stars song.

"You know I don't see you when she walks in the room"

We danced the night away as a trio until Sophia joined us. Then more dancing as a quartet. And more drinking. I think I had about 10 drinks last night in total. And lots of drunken pictures! I'm so camera happy drunk and so was Nayeli last night so we traded off. No complaints about any of the evening. We somehow got on the bus down Bloor and barely made it to our stop. After giving Shane goodbye hugs and kisses, the bus driver demanded that he should get some love too. We got off the bus. The bus driver kinda looked like Teen Wolf. The girls and i hopped in a cab, missed our street, and finally got to our house where Nayeli slipped and fell on the ice. But it was all fun.

"They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon"

Nayeli also got the idea to call everyone she/we knew and leave them drunken goodbye voicemail and text messages. Or in the case of a few people, actually wake them up in bed. Like a girl in Washington whom Nayeli hadn't spoken to in 4 years but still had on speed dial. So we left some rambling messages for some people and horribly mis-spelled text messages. If you're one of those people- we're mildly sorry. The Mexican made us do it. Just hink that she loves you that much, she wanted to say goodbye... And it's all Dirk's fault for losing his cellphone in the first place.

"It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else"

Surprisingly, I remember every vivid detail. I think once you cross that midly inebrieated to downright intoxicated your memory stays with you. This is when Nayeli fell on the ice, after we missed our street in the cab and had to turn around. I laughed, took her picture, then helped her up.

And I chose this song today because it was in my head all day, is a stella U2 track, and I love the lyrics and video. I agree witht he first line although I don't think I have a conscience. I seem to lack that little voice inside my heaf that tells you what to do and what not to do and when to stop doing what you shouldn't be doing. It's gotten me this far and I'm glad. I don't mean I lack a conscience in that I'm going to stab someone in the dead of winter to see steam rise from their chest, but in a maybe I shouldn't drink so much, elbow this person, and give the finger to whores anymore. or refer ot people as whores. Which reminds me of this pimp I ran face first into yesterday a tthe Eaton's Center...off topic. I think I'm rambling because I'm still a Woman Under the Influence.

This picture sums up the evening: none of us are all quite there.

"It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky"

OVERRATED: People who stay here so you can't miss them. Okay, not really, because I need someone here to play with. And now my feamle friend amount in the city has gone down to 0. And boys never want to do what I want to do. Okay, also a downright lie because Dan and Shane also go to the movies a lot. Hmmm I'll mull this one over.
UNDERRATED: Nayeli! Okay, not really underrated, but the girl is leaving and I love her and miss her already.

"Look, I gotta go, yeah I'm running outta change, There's a lot of things, if I could I'd rearrange"

“I scream at the silence, it's crawling, It crawls under the door”
-Silver and Gold, U2

That’s it. I’m officially old. Now, I know, technically I am quite young and there are several people who are older than me who read this on a daily basis (trying to relive their youth perhaps?). What helped me make this decision: the fact that there’s like 10 days until Christmas (I think…I don’t even count down anymore. No, less than that). I’m nowhere near finished with Xmas shopping. Surprisingly, pushy people at the mall aren’t pissing me off- just endless Christmas muzak. Case in point- HMV. I was going crazy because they were playing a Barenaked Ladies Christmas CD. I can’t handle them in a non-holiday setting. Ugh. But despite all of this, I must say that I’ve been in a fantastic mood this past month or so. I guess Paris helped…

“Outside are the prisoners, Inside the free”

Today is also sad because it is Nayeli’s last night here. She moves home to Mexico for an indeterminate time (but hopefully/possibly 8 months). So we are going to do it up oldschool at Dance Cave. And we’re bringing Leanne! Culture shock alert. It will be fun. Which reminds me that I need beer and/or coke to mix with rum (but to mean that I am mixing beer with rum, but as an alternate beverage). The constant packing and unpacking of things as people move in and out of the house is strange because I’ve been in the same place 7 months. The past four years it’s been 8 months in Ottawa and 4 months in Thorold so it’s weird to get out of that cycle. But it’s so nice! There’s still things that I haven’t unpacked yet- like my desk drawer which I technically haven’t unpacked since Nat, Puivis, and I escaped from Shirley’s clutches.

“No stars in the black night, Looks like the sky fell down”

So busy at work today that Kate had to email me to alert me to Cillian Murphy and Peter Sarsgaard pictures on pinkisthenewblog.com. I told you I was busy- I don’t even have time to surf the blogs today. Thanks for looking out for my best interests. Conversly, that L’Uomo Vogue with Cillian Murphy is $21.99 at Indigo. I’m not quite that crazy to buy it, but you’d better check again a week and see if my resistance was futile.

One of my friends at work perfected a “Non-Scientific Terrible Actor Survey” to find the worst actor in Hollywood and determine their Terrible Actor Co-efficient. It’s all too math-y for me, but the results are that Nicolas cage is by far the worst actor in his TAC ratio which is found by searching for his name and “terrible actor” in the same sentence on Google, plus some other things. Quite fun. This is why I get up in the morning.

“Mister, I ain't got nothing, But it's more than you got”

And this is going to be a fun-filled movie weekend. Dan and I are hitting up Brokeback Mountain and The Squid and the Whale on Sunday. I’m going to see Mrs. Henderson Presents in a sneak preview with my aunt. And Saturday might involve Narnia, The Family Stone, Syriana, or some combination of those titles. And I have to finish watching The Good Thief on DVD.

In other news that I find exciting: Hard-Fi is coming to Toronto Jan. 20th and Hawksley Workman is here March 25th. 2006 concerts are already shaping up when you add Coldplay on March 22nd (and possibly on the 23rd as well).

Time to go home! Welcome to the weekend…

OVERRATED: Daisies- the loser flower.
UNDERRATED: Poinsettias. At least they’re poisonous.

“Am I buggin' you? I don't mean to bug ya...”

“I'm going to meet you at midnight , I'm not used to living alone , I've got to learn or learn how to die”
-Love and Destroy, Franz Ferdinand

Nayeli and I saw King Kong last night. Thank God it was at the dirty Rainbow Cinemas and I only paid $4.25. While not terrible, it’s not that good either and I wouldn’t care to see it again. And I can’t figure out why Adrien Brody is even in this movie. His part could be played by any random non-Oscar winner. It would be a toss-up between what I would rather watch- any of the Lord of the Rings or King Kong, because I like neither. I think I would pick King Kong because there are no dwarves or elves, or Orlando Bloom (whom I still haven’t forgiven for Elizabethtown). Then again LOTR has my favourite Hobbit, Dominic Monaghan. But King Kong has that ape which is almost the same thing…


Here are the lessons learned from King Kong:

Don’t go to Skull Island.

If Jack Black offers you something: run.

If you happen upon a place that is littered with human skeletons: run.

Adrien Brody can appear quite handsome if the lighting is correct. But only for a second.

In a battle between:
Giant ape vs. dinosaurs= ape wins.

Giant ape vs. anything other than another giant ape= ape wins.

Beast vs. Beauty= beauty wins.

Apes love sunsets and blondes.

Don’t touch the natives.

You won't be cold at the top of the Empire State Building in a sleeves dress in the middle of winter.

Giant apes are huge Vaudeville fans.

If you aren’t White, you gonna die.

If you are the soundman, cameraman, focus puller, or anything else, other than star of a film: you gonna die.

The main principles of planetary motion aren’t relevant so long as it serves the purpose of the story, as night turns into day in a matter of minutes.

Too many special effects ruin a movie when they’re bad.

Peter Jackson is a terrible director.


Just like Hitler, I prefer the original King Kong (it’s true, for both Hitler and myself).


“I'm so free as I meet you , Welcoming black the Queen of the ball”


The movie was 3 hours and about an hour and 20 minutes too long. The downside was that Nayeli had the tickets and was late for the movie so we missed the premiere of the Colin Farrell Miami Vice movie trailer. I hear he has a wicked mullet in it, God bless him. There isn’t a Colin Farrell movie I won’t watch. Until today, I thought I was THE only person (presumably other than Colin Farrell, Val Kilmer, and Oliver Stone) who really liked the movie Alexander. Then I mentioned that to a co-worker and fellow ex- Film student and he too admitted to not only liking it, but owning it too.

The weekend will be filled with more movie watching since it’s the holidays and good movies all come out this month.

“But you give, you give me it all”

I’m quite busy at work today (really, I am, and I don’t mean it in a “I’m so busy searching eBay” kinda way). But I do need to go shopping and buy this:



And this Italian Vogue:



And this Esquire:




It’s a good month to buy magazines that feature Cillian Murphy.

So here's what we learned:

King Kong= bad.

Cillian Murphy= good.

Colin Farrell= good.

Peter Jackson= bad.

Jakc Black= not as annoying as usual.

OVERRATED: King Kong.
UNDERRATED: Mothra.

“Well I'm here with you at midnight”

"The snow's coming dow, I'm watching it fall..."
-Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), U2 (I know it's not "their" song, but they made it their own)

Speaking of U2: the new video for Original of the Species is weird, but it ends well with a hot Bono. Like 1993 hot. Like Zoo-TV leather pants hot. Damn, why was I 11 in 1993?

I found this website that has hilarious shirts for sale. The following is a selection of my favourites, any of which I would be proud to wear.






I've been told it's true.










It certainly is.










It actually is my favourite element, ever since I did a science report of Boron in grade 9.









Better than the other kind...









I really have no preference given the choices, unless we're talking about dinner.










She did at one point.










Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.












Einstein was wrong, 'cuz Hammer's so right.











Preachin' to the choir...











Not my house











Why would you?








I wish it said "Street Meat!"












Don't think I'll ever be in that position...









And you certainly are.












Done.











Actually Turkey wanted to make a child bride in exchange for some camels in 1996.










I think this one is my favourite. I'm actually laughing.










Only you can prevent forest fires.









Fo' shizzle.










This one just makes me laugh. I wish there was one about mullets.










Nobody likes a vegan.









So funny. So true. Be safe in the knowledge that he's still out there, looking for the real killer. And for some reason I always imagine Mr. T's voice as I read the shirt...










That about sums me up.

I wish I could get this picture on a t-shirt...

Oh wait, I can make it for myself with some of those computer iron on transfer pages. I smell a winter project coming on! And it's appropriate because I'm currently in the process of watching the Nick Nolte movie The Good Thief.

Part of me feels bad for not uploading the rest of my pictures from my trip last night. I promise I'll do it by Sunday.

OVERRATED: The top 2 floors of the HMV on Yonge St. All you need is on the first floor.

UNDERRATED: My new old crockpot that my dad gave me as we cleaned out the cupboards last weekend. You can't go wrong with throwing meat into a pot and letting it cook for 12 hours. it's the laziest way to cook for yourself.

"I remember when you were here, anf all the fun we had last year"

"Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is. Sleeping is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids"
-Rebellion (Lies), The Arcade Fire (aka Le Feu d'Arcade)

This post should be about my last day in Paris, but I haven’t uploaded any photos of our last day yet, and I kinda need help remembering exactly what we did. So, call this the Untested Beta Version of this post, and I’ll add the pictures later when I am less busy (I really am today) and less lazy (by the time I get home I’m not motivated to do anything but change the channel on the TV).

So here’s the half-assed version, sans photos. Check back later and I really will add the pictures to it.

Day 6: Friday, December 2nd, 2005:

Our stay in Paris has come to an end, and I am already planning future trips elsewhere…well trips of the less exciting kind include a free stay in New Hampshire or West Virginia or some ungodly place in January. We all know how much I love winter! (I hate winter and the cold). And no, I didn’t win a free trip there. It’s sort of a free promotions thingy from Rusty’s parents. I decided that the next place I’ll go is Ireland (finally!) and actually get off the plane this time (I once had a brief stopover there) and go to Cork to visit the birthplace of my ancestors. But I digress, we’re in the present and the present is Paris.

Friday was a day I was excited for. Being a huge art freak and well skilled in the history of art through years of study in high school and university (not counting that horrible Visual Culture class that Natalie and I took to which we showed up to a total of 4 full classes all term, and we only stayed for those because there was a movie or exam), we went to the Louvre. I love the Louvre. I can’t get enough. I practically cry when I walk into the Renaissance art wing, as Renaissance art- Italian in particular- being my most-studied specialty. I know, I would have pegged me for a modern art freak a la Warhol and Miro and the Symbolists, but the love I have for them doesn’t compare to my love of Da Vinci, Anguisola, Cimabue, and Giotto. I also hate French Impressionism. Anyway, Fridya was Louvre day and we woke up early to beat the lines and the crowd around the Mona Lisa, although it being December, there probably wasn’t much need to rush when the museum opened. We just had to get ahead of the Japanese tourists who stand and take pictures of everything. They also move in packs and block everyone else from getting a view of whatever is important (it’s generalizing, but it’s true).

We bought our tickets, no problem, grabbed a map and I led the charge to the Denon wing where the Mona Lisa (or La Giaconda if we’re going to be correct) is. We rushed by centuries of fantastic art in order to get to the Mona Lisa first. We stood and looked at the Mona Lisa for a good long time. I noticed the difference at this visit compared to my last visit, was that now you couldn’t take pictures of any of the works of art. I have pictures of the Mona Lisa and some other works from last year (without flash) and I remember thinking that it was stupid to let people take flash pictures of the art. So this year, no pictures inside, except of statues. I even have video from last year’s trip in the Louvre. People always talk about how small La Giaconda actually is, that by the time you do see it, it’s much larger than what you expected it to be. And I’ll admit it- the Mona Lisa is probably my least favrouite Da Vinci’s and my least favourite painting. I much prefer Madonna on the Rocks, which is dark and kinda creepy, and if you’ve read The Da Vinci Code, you know all too well. An d it’s one of the paintings we saw as we back tracked through the rest of the wing that we had skipped to get to the Mona Lisa.

As the largest museum in the world, the Louvre has all the art that you’d expect to see- the Winged Victory of Samothrace, two of Michelangelo’s “Unfinished” Dying Slaves statues (but my favourite of the set is in the Accademia in Florence, Italy), and basically anything that’s important that’s not in the Musee D’Orsay (meh, one visit there was enough) or the Reijksmuseum (somewhere else I’ll need to go to see the Van Gogh’s). I also love the pyramid, and the inverse pyramid. The Louvre also has the underground foundations of the “Medieval Louvre” which is an archeological site. As well, the apartment of Napoleon are here in all their gilded glory.

Once we finished with the Louvre, we walked through the Tuleries gardens and went to the Arc de triomphe, planning to ascend to the top. But noooooo, the one day of the year that the Arc closes in the middle of the afternoon for 2 hours, is the day we show up to climb it. So we walked along the Champs Elysees again, had lunch and headed to St. Sulpice church instead to kill time until the Arc re-opened. St. Sulpice, also of The Da Vinci Code fame, is in a quiet area and didn’t have many visitors. There was a big fountain outside. There was also a huge pipe organ inside.

We walked through the Luxembourg gardens again, back to our hotel to wait for the Arc. By the time we got back to the Arc, the Christmas lights were coming on so we got to see the last bit of daylight from the top of the Arc and twilight set in as the monuments started lighting up. It was so cold and windy up there that it was hard to keep the camera still to take pictures.
We had our final Parisian dinner in the Latin Quarter at a French restaurant, where I had the most horrible French onion soup imaginable. It was all oil. So gross. In fact, I almost threw up later that evening, and if it hadn’t been for a healthy dose of Pepto Bismol, it would have been an entirely different evening.

The next day we got up super early to catch our 11am flight. Little did we, the people at Charles de Gualle airport, or Air Canada know, but the CDG shuttle drivers who drive passengers from the terminal out to the airplanes were on strike. We were supposed to board at 10:25am, which came and went. As did our 11:15am departure time. They moved us from one gate to another. No one knew anything, and we weren’t told anything. Finally, an Air Canada guy, who may have been the pilot, somehow got a driver to take one shuttle and transfer people back and forth to the plane. I imagine him bribing the driver with cheap wine and cigarettes, because as we all know, “My children need wine.”

We eventually did leave, over 2 hours later, and this time, thank God, the entertainment system was working. Okay, maybe not so lucky because they were playing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp got nominated for a Golden Globe for THAT?!) and not Batman Begins featuring fantastic people like Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy (whom is also nominated for a Golden Globe, rightfully so, for Breakfast on Pluto, but alas, in the same category as Joaquin Phoenix). So now we’re back, I still haven’t sent out the majority of the postcards, nor have I even written them (I think I sent 4 out of 11, with one to Eve already written but I’ll just hand it to you in a few weeks (!!) and Heidi’s is written, but I still haven’t been to the post office to yell at anyone about your “undeliverable” mail).

In other news, I’m hungry and quite busy. And it is difficult to type with that blueberry yogurt I dropped into the keyboard yesterday. I’m also excited about the cat’s Christmas present- a cheese house that is spring loaded to launch a mouse on wheels out a little trap door. That’s right, less that 2 weeks ‘til Xmas and the only person I can cross off the list is the cat.

OVERRATED: Peanuts. The cartoon and the legume. (but not beer nuts or any form of candy coated peanut).
UNDERRATED: That cheese house. It’s so fun, even if you don’t have a cat.

"Now here's the sun, it's alright! (Lies!) Now here's the moon it's alright (Lies!)"

"London calling to the underworld, Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls"
-London Calling, The Clash

I love London!

Day 5: Thursday, December 1st:

First, sorry to keep the 3 of you who read this on a daily basis waiting for the post. But you didn’t have to sit through a day long seminar with your co-workers, whom, as cool as they are, and as much as we collectively mock the seminars and the “Dr.” who gives them, I would have been happier discussing the Bono Email of the Day with Caro, or what movies we’re watching with many a colleague, or I would have been happier just sitting at my desk, staring out the window at the naked guy who occasionally strolls by the windows in the condo across the street.

Thursday was the day we got bored of Paris and went to London. Or more precisely, the day I told Rusty we were going to London because it was so close that I would be mad if I passed it up. And I had a craving for “The Greatest Sandwich Ever Made (and consumed by me)” which occurred in London in April 2004. And before anyone complains about “how can anybody possibly be bored in Paris?!” I say, “Paris is NOT my favourite city. In fact, France in general is at the bottom of the list of places I’ve visited. I’d go to France before I’d ever go to say, Estonia, or Mongolia, but meh. On my European cruise this spring, the southern France stop was my least favourite. Bono likes the very south of France, so I feel that one day I will give Cannes et al a chance, but for now. I was bored. And sometimes you just want someone to speak English to you.

We took the Eurostar train across the Channel Tunnel, or “Chunnel” if you will to Paris. It was only 2.5 hrs because it’s a supa-fast train (take that Via Rail and your 5 hour “Express” train from TO to Mtl!). Because you are crossing the border, the same security that airports have are in place, like metal detectors, passport control, etc. See how I put my stuff through the luggage x-ray scanner thing. See how my gloves never came out. My hands were so cold the rest of the day, as no mittens were to be found in London.

We had booked our trip as part of a larger tour that included day passes for a hop on and off tour bus around London. We promptly ditched them as soon as we got off the train as I have a great disdain for organized tours and tour guides. And I knew where I was going- memories of London and my favourite sandwich still fresh in my mind. Rusty and I ran to the London Eye, the big ferris-wheel like contraption that overlooks the Thames River and the Houses of Parliament.

I love the London Eye, although it is sort of a modern eyesore. You are in enclosed capsules that are made of glass and allow you 360 degree views of London as you go around the ferris wheel. The pods can hold up to 25 people, but because it was December, there were only 6 of us in our capsule. It costs about $30 Cdn and takes about 40 minutes to complete the ride. It started to rain as we were making our descent, but hey, it’s London.

From the London Eye, there are views of Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben and Parliament, Trafalgar Square, and other notables.

From there, we walked to one of the bridges that spans the Thames to Parliament and looked at the buildings and the Dali museum, even though I utterly despise Dali – damn I just dropped blueberry yogurt into my keyboard- and his Surrealist concoctions. At one point, there wasn’t anyone on the bridge, just like in 28 Days Later. Unlike in 28 Days Later, the British people were nice, and un-zombie like.

We went to St. Paul’s Cathedral, but I refused to pay $15 Cdn to go in so we just looked at the façade. THis is what it says on the automatic revolving door to get into the cathedral, which I guess is better than, "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter." Shows what they're spending their money on.

We jumped back on our tour bus and went across the Tower Bridge to the Tower of London. We bought tickets to the Tower of London and went in to look around and see the crown jewels of British royalty, including the largest diamond in the world (sorry, no cameras were allowed). There are ravens all over the grounds, who are the “keepers” of the Tower. Legend says that if all the raven desert the Tower, the monarchy will crumble and all of the ravens who live their now are descendants of the original ravens from the middle ages. I’m sure they bribe the ravens there with foodstuffs and other incentives like all the tourists they can bite because they seemed quite happy.
The Tower is actually a complex with several towers and other things, including Beefeater guards (or Mr. Beefies, if you will) who guard the Crown jewels.

Now, onto more exciting things like my hunt for my sandwich. The Greatest Sandwich Ever was purchased for me by my mother at the Tower of London cafeteria shop at the base of the Tower Bridge. It is here that Rusty and returned in search of my sandwich. Now the ingredients of my sandwich are a nice baguette, about a 2 cm thick slab of goat cheese, cold grilled red peppers in olive oil, and a few baby spinach leaves. My mouth is watering thinking of it. Alas, the sandwich was not there, it only being on the summer menu. Instead, I had what we can call the 2nd Greatest Sandwich Ever, which consisted of goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes. Mmmm World's Second Greatest Sandwich...I'm such a slave to the goat and all the cheeses he produces. When I eventually buy a goat named Merle to live on Rusty's farm, he will be well-apprieciated.

We walked up to the Tower Bridge and around the outside of the Tower of London, before hopping back on our tour bus. At this point, we were running out of time, so we just stayed on the tour bus and took a tour of the city. We saw Buckingham Palace, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, the London Dungeons, Baker Street, Oxford Street, and back to the Thames. Sadly, I also didn’t get to Mark’s & Spencer’s, the greatest store on earth to buy my favourite weird French fry potato chips….I never got over the removal of their stores in Canada. My life revolves around food, especially of teh British variety. Although I did have the worst fish and chips and roastbeef and Yorksire pudding in London. That was a sad day indeed. I blame the jetlag.

This little picture is of Traflagar Square, but what's missing from this picture is Nelson's Column, an important British landmark. I just thought this shot was the prettiest to include here.

We wanted to see Parliament and Big Ben lit up at night, so we hung around the riverside before heading back to Paris at the end of the day.

In other fun news, I just bought an autographed Entertainment Weekly Jarhead edition signed by Peter Sarsgaard, Jamie Foxx, and Jerk Gyllenhaal. And it was only $20! I think I may have a new favourite for my collection…

OVERRATED: The teapot that I wanted in the shape of a double decker bus but it was approx. 45$ Cdn, which is more than I’ve spent on tea in 2 years (if you’re interested, I assume I’ve spent about $33 on tea in 2 years, thanks to all the cheap green tea in Chinatown, and the large amounts of free tea I consume at work).
UNDERRATED: The ziplock bag of vitamins I keep in my drawer at work so when people come to borrow a pen, they see my bag of drugs. If you come to visit, I can offer you a Vitamin B or C. Or some raisins, as there’s a whole lot of everything in my drawer.

"London is drowning-and I live by the river"