"London calling to the underworld, Come out of the cupboard, all you boys and girls"
-London Calling, The Clash

I love London!

Day 5: Thursday, December 1st:

First, sorry to keep the 3 of you who read this on a daily basis waiting for the post. But you didn’t have to sit through a day long seminar with your co-workers, whom, as cool as they are, and as much as we collectively mock the seminars and the “Dr.” who gives them, I would have been happier discussing the Bono Email of the Day with Caro, or what movies we’re watching with many a colleague, or I would have been happier just sitting at my desk, staring out the window at the naked guy who occasionally strolls by the windows in the condo across the street.

Thursday was the day we got bored of Paris and went to London. Or more precisely, the day I told Rusty we were going to London because it was so close that I would be mad if I passed it up. And I had a craving for “The Greatest Sandwich Ever Made (and consumed by me)” which occurred in London in April 2004. And before anyone complains about “how can anybody possibly be bored in Paris?!” I say, “Paris is NOT my favourite city. In fact, France in general is at the bottom of the list of places I’ve visited. I’d go to France before I’d ever go to say, Estonia, or Mongolia, but meh. On my European cruise this spring, the southern France stop was my least favourite. Bono likes the very south of France, so I feel that one day I will give Cannes et al a chance, but for now. I was bored. And sometimes you just want someone to speak English to you.

We took the Eurostar train across the Channel Tunnel, or “Chunnel” if you will to Paris. It was only 2.5 hrs because it’s a supa-fast train (take that Via Rail and your 5 hour “Express” train from TO to Mtl!). Because you are crossing the border, the same security that airports have are in place, like metal detectors, passport control, etc. See how I put my stuff through the luggage x-ray scanner thing. See how my gloves never came out. My hands were so cold the rest of the day, as no mittens were to be found in London.

We had booked our trip as part of a larger tour that included day passes for a hop on and off tour bus around London. We promptly ditched them as soon as we got off the train as I have a great disdain for organized tours and tour guides. And I knew where I was going- memories of London and my favourite sandwich still fresh in my mind. Rusty and I ran to the London Eye, the big ferris-wheel like contraption that overlooks the Thames River and the Houses of Parliament.

I love the London Eye, although it is sort of a modern eyesore. You are in enclosed capsules that are made of glass and allow you 360 degree views of London as you go around the ferris wheel. The pods can hold up to 25 people, but because it was December, there were only 6 of us in our capsule. It costs about $30 Cdn and takes about 40 minutes to complete the ride. It started to rain as we were making our descent, but hey, it’s London.

From the London Eye, there are views of Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben and Parliament, Trafalgar Square, and other notables.

From there, we walked to one of the bridges that spans the Thames to Parliament and looked at the buildings and the Dali museum, even though I utterly despise Dali – damn I just dropped blueberry yogurt into my keyboard- and his Surrealist concoctions. At one point, there wasn’t anyone on the bridge, just like in 28 Days Later. Unlike in 28 Days Later, the British people were nice, and un-zombie like.

We went to St. Paul’s Cathedral, but I refused to pay $15 Cdn to go in so we just looked at the façade. THis is what it says on the automatic revolving door to get into the cathedral, which I guess is better than, "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter." Shows what they're spending their money on.

We jumped back on our tour bus and went across the Tower Bridge to the Tower of London. We bought tickets to the Tower of London and went in to look around and see the crown jewels of British royalty, including the largest diamond in the world (sorry, no cameras were allowed). There are ravens all over the grounds, who are the “keepers” of the Tower. Legend says that if all the raven desert the Tower, the monarchy will crumble and all of the ravens who live their now are descendants of the original ravens from the middle ages. I’m sure they bribe the ravens there with foodstuffs and other incentives like all the tourists they can bite because they seemed quite happy.
The Tower is actually a complex with several towers and other things, including Beefeater guards (or Mr. Beefies, if you will) who guard the Crown jewels.

Now, onto more exciting things like my hunt for my sandwich. The Greatest Sandwich Ever was purchased for me by my mother at the Tower of London cafeteria shop at the base of the Tower Bridge. It is here that Rusty and returned in search of my sandwich. Now the ingredients of my sandwich are a nice baguette, about a 2 cm thick slab of goat cheese, cold grilled red peppers in olive oil, and a few baby spinach leaves. My mouth is watering thinking of it. Alas, the sandwich was not there, it only being on the summer menu. Instead, I had what we can call the 2nd Greatest Sandwich Ever, which consisted of goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes. Mmmm World's Second Greatest Sandwich...I'm such a slave to the goat and all the cheeses he produces. When I eventually buy a goat named Merle to live on Rusty's farm, he will be well-apprieciated.

We walked up to the Tower Bridge and around the outside of the Tower of London, before hopping back on our tour bus. At this point, we were running out of time, so we just stayed on the tour bus and took a tour of the city. We saw Buckingham Palace, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, the London Dungeons, Baker Street, Oxford Street, and back to the Thames. Sadly, I also didn’t get to Mark’s & Spencer’s, the greatest store on earth to buy my favourite weird French fry potato chips….I never got over the removal of their stores in Canada. My life revolves around food, especially of teh British variety. Although I did have the worst fish and chips and roastbeef and Yorksire pudding in London. That was a sad day indeed. I blame the jetlag.

This little picture is of Traflagar Square, but what's missing from this picture is Nelson's Column, an important British landmark. I just thought this shot was the prettiest to include here.

We wanted to see Parliament and Big Ben lit up at night, so we hung around the riverside before heading back to Paris at the end of the day.

In other fun news, I just bought an autographed Entertainment Weekly Jarhead edition signed by Peter Sarsgaard, Jamie Foxx, and Jerk Gyllenhaal. And it was only $20! I think I may have a new favourite for my collection…

OVERRATED: The teapot that I wanted in the shape of a double decker bus but it was approx. 45$ Cdn, which is more than I’ve spent on tea in 2 years (if you’re interested, I assume I’ve spent about $33 on tea in 2 years, thanks to all the cheap green tea in Chinatown, and the large amounts of free tea I consume at work).
UNDERRATED: The ziplock bag of vitamins I keep in my drawer at work so when people come to borrow a pen, they see my bag of drugs. If you come to visit, I can offer you a Vitamin B or C. Or some raisins, as there’s a whole lot of everything in my drawer.

"London is drowning-and I live by the river"