“Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend”
-Girlfriend, Avril Lavigne (HOW did this get in my head??!)

“I saw a book that you should read.”

Usually when someone says this, I’m intrigued as it’s usually about music, pop culture or some form of both.

Not this time.

This time its dating advice. Thanks. That’s what I get for strolling through High Park to Chapters. As if it weren’t bad enough that my parents and my Nana have finally starting prying into my love life (or lack thereof), now people that I only know casually through others and haven’t seen in months are giving me advice. The book in question is called “Sex with Your Ex” (and NO, that’s not why it was recommended to me). It’s a list of what not to do in a relationship or while looking for a man, or once you have found someone. Gee, thanks. Relationship lists? That’s not how I roll. Especially, when after a cursory glance, I have already broken most of the rules and disregarded the rest, less interesting ones. Some gems from this book o’ wonders included inclusions from Captain Obvious: never reveal your “number,” never go after a guy who is taken, don’t go home with a dude on the first date. Of course, I was fundamentally opposed to, “Never fall for a jerk, no matter how beautiful he is.” That’s totally what I look for in a man. Clearly relationship advice books are not for me. Instead, I picked up “The Boy Who Kicked Pigs” which is my new favourite book. AND it has pictures. Pictures of pigs. And crows. Very Burton-esque. AND it was written by 1970s Doctor Who.

“Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?”

Going back to my parents meddling into my love life now (I guess I can’t complain too much as this is the first time it’s ever happened…I made it 25 years without their advice) it kind of makes me glad the traditional Mother’s Day in Niagara-on-the-Lake picnic/brunch was cancelled this year. There’s only so many times I can hear, “What about that Dan fellow? I always thought Dan was such a nice boy.” Yes. Clearly, we have been biding our time for the past 21 years as friends. Soon I will make my move. It should also be noted that my family refers to Dan as Danny. “What about that boy Mike?” First of all, I don’t know who “Mike” is. I told my parents he was gay, which is an excuse that’s wearing thin. They’re on to me.

Perhaps I shouldn’t tell them that Dan and I are proud owners of Wonderland seasons passes, and are on our way to scoring Keane tickets for Sunday for less than $12 each. Not like I need another concert, especially one at the Kool Haus, but I can’t turn down a concert or a good deal.

I’ve had something in my eye since Friday and I am going insane.

"I know that you like me, No way! No way! No it’s not a secret"

And I totally forgot about the Arctic Monkeys on Friday…
They’ve certainly gained more stage presence than the last time I saw them although you’d think it was a race to see how fast they could get through their songs. Be Your Own Pet is one of the worst bands I’ve ever seen. I didn’t take my camera out for fear of getting trampled at the show by jumpy boys. I haven’t been to a show with so much pushing since JET at Fuji Rock. That’s right, JET.

“I think we should get together now, And that’s what everyone’s talking about!”