"This is the wildest party that there ever could be "

-Mama Told Me Not to Come, Randy Newman

The Oscar party went off without a hitch, even though most of us ended up with stomach aches following the non-stop gorging on food from the pre-show at 530 through to 1230 when we called it a night.

I won the pool and took 1st prize, with Scott in 2nd and Cassandra in 3rd place.

This being our Superbowl, applause and cheers broke out for Marty and The Departed’s win for Best Picture, several WTFs for The Danish Poet’s win, and lots of debate over Sound Mixing. And in a scene that is likely to come true, Dan and I fought over the Oscar statue:
The evening’s excitement started early with the mixing and spiking of punch, and at 6pm I was already yelling, “SARSGAARD!” (because I inexplicably love him in all his not too meaty, not to firmness) to haul Eve from the kitchen from making her Arabic meat-on-bread (aka The Omar Sharif) which went lovely with our Bubba Gump Shrimp, Zesty Salma Hayek Jalepeno dip, and the Dame Judi Dench Bridge Mix. We also passed the time posing with an Oscar statue in “you’ve just won an Oscar!” poses.

"Our hostess is not lasting - she's out on the floor "

Observations of the evening:

Where the Hell is Mickey Rooney? One can only assume he is dead.

The show was so long Peter O’Toole died during the ceremony. Either from boredom or a broken heart. Cue several references to Peter O’Toole’s corpse winning Best Actor.

Lots of Eddie Murphy and Beyonce hatin’ around the room, although for once, Beyonce wasn’t dressed like a mermaid.

Children at the Oscars: big mistake. Son of Will Smith, you will never win an Oscar.

Why is Jack Nicholson bald in a Lex Lutheran way?

Scott and I battled over our collective girlfriend Kate Winslet and decided that she was enough woman for both of us to love.

Who let Tom Cruise out of his crazy cage?

Clint Eastwood took a stab at Italian translation for Ennio Morricone. It also prompted random translations for the gang on my couch. It was also assumed that Clint Eastwood had a stroke on stage which gave him the ability to become fluent in Italian. He’ll be dead soon.

Instead of being montage-heavy circle the Aught 5 show, they paired it down to 3 or 4 very long montages…montage works better when it’s short and sweet- just ask Sergei Eisenstein.

The Departed made up for Crash’s “win” last year.

Thank God Jennifer Hudson took off her Judy Jetson space shuttle gold jacket.

The “In Memoriam” reel offered a few “He died???” from the crowd, although I’ve already forgotten who we were shocked to find out had died, which only means that I’ve embarked on a cycle of amazement every time I remember someone died, then promptly forget, only to be reminded again later with another “He’s dead??”

“They’ve brought back interpretative dance?!” … which would have been better than the weird shadow puppets.

Ellen: stick with your day job.

"Will you have whiskey with your water, Or sugar with your tea? "

And finally, the big winner of the night:

Mr. Merv Griffin

"Mama told me not to come Mama said, "That ain't no way to have fun" "