“I love your friends - they're all so arty”
-Do You Want To? Franz Ferdinand

This will be the first of several posts about Franz Ferdinand as I get ready for their concert on Tuesday with Dirk and Nayeli…and by several I mean two…

It’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: I really like this new Franz Ferdinand CD, possibly better than their first one. So do like Will Smith says and, “don’t download, go out and by the record.” Well, no one really listens to Will Smith, I certainly didn’t.

Speaking of Will Smith, you know what disgusts me? The pending TomKitten that Tom “Psycho Cult leader” Cruise and Katie “Surrogate Womb Zombie” Holmes are having. Yuck. So gross.

“He's a friend and I knew him before you”

Onto more delicious things to take our mind off of that disgusting mess. Here’s a list of things that you can think of that are better than TomKat:

-Caterpillars: They’re fluffy and warm and sometimes bite (ask Dirk).

-The new season of Lost: I wish I had a hatch with a man living in it.

-Ghosts: Scary! Easy Halloween costume! (I might go as a dead prom queen, since I couldn’t find recruits to go as members of Devo with me…but stayed tuned for a possible Devo-themes party in the future).

-Leg warmers: They’re not really back as Old Navy ads might lead you to believe, but they do their job in keeping the calf warm. Share similar properties to the caterpillar.

-the man on the escalator at lunch today who hit me with his bag as I was passing him who then asked me if I minded. Mind what? Getting hit by your bag because you’re a clumsy oaf? I turned and said, “Excuse me, do you mind?” and then muttered voodoo hexes on him under my breath.

-A Platypus: I had an 8th grade teacher we called Mr. Platypus because he always pursed his lips to put on chap stick. We also put chalk dust in his coffee. And I once called him an ass to his face. Memories…

-Peter Sarsgaard: That’s what I’m thinking of and not the plot holes in Flightplan.

-Skinny ties: a la Franz Ferdinand and the '80s.

-Streetcars: helping you be late for work, 5 days a week! “It’s not my fault I’m 34 minutes late, it was the TTC!”

“When I woke up tonight I said I'm, Going to make somebody love me”

Actually, I like to wake up in the morning and think that I’m going to make somebody dislike me. I’m too abrasive. If I were Italian, people would call me passionate, and not a jerk. Not that I’m complaining.

In regard to my impending trip to Paris, I found out that Goldfrapp is opening for Coldplay. What? Who? You may ask, just as I did, but then I heard some of their/her songs. I recommend the cover of Olivia Newton-John’s “Physical” and “Oh La La” which I swear is in a movie that may have never existed.

I also scoffed at the TV the other night when I saw Ashlee Simpson on SNL. Alas, she didn’t fall flat on her face. She “proved” she can “sing.” Good for you, now fade into obscurity! Remember when SNL was good? And I’m not talking about Mango.

“Do you want to, Want a go of what I'd never let you before”

OVERRATED: My recipe guide from the National Pork Council (aka “You GO Grill!”). Everything is too complicated to make, and pork is still the other white meat for me.
UNDERRATED: Voodoo. Sometimes all you need to do is stick needles in an effigy of your nemesis.

“You're lucky lucky, you're so lucky”