Everything is Illuminated (and all because of Peter Sarsgaard)

New Mission also accomplished: I saw Peter Sarsgaard, a mere 4 hours after setting the mandate to find him. I’m getting good at this….now it’s time to apply myself to “real” goals (ie. Save some money, buy a house, buy a car…but that’s so not me)

Film Festival Fun continues:
Monday, September 12, 2005:

Films Screened:
Everything is Illuminated

Celebrities spotted:
Peter Sarsgaard
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Jake the Jerk Gyllenhaal
Miss Universe (hey, she’s from TO…)
Jane Seymour (not to be confused with Roma Downey, whom I often think is the same person as Jane Seymour)
David Duchovny
Julianne Moore
Bart Freundlich (director)
Claire Danes
Billy Crudup
Eva Mendes
Elijah Wood
Live Schreiber
Eugene Hutz

First things first, red carpet re-cap.

My co-worker Caroline and I decided to go scope out the red carpet for the Trust the Man premiere (would have seen the movie but I had to meet people for the later showing of Illuminated but it does sound good). Hung out right by the barrier for a good view of everyone exiting the limos and talking to the press. It became apparent that I:
a) pretty much was the first person to see stars exit their cars from my vantage point
b) seemed to be the only person who knew absolutely everyone getting out of the cars (amid questions of “Who is that? Is that the mom from Smallville?”)
c) put my BA in Film Studies to good use not once but twice in the evening, as well as my vast knowledge of pop culture
d) feel smugly superior to everyone else this week (save for Shane and the other knowledgeable people I’ve met)
First up was Miss Universe, whom the girls next to us, in French said, “She's Miss Universe? She’s not that pretty. She was on waaaay too much makeup. And she has fat ankles.” For the record, I thought she was good looking. She is Miss U afterall.

Next up, Jane Seymour. For me, she’ll always be Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. She smiled and waved and did the press thing. Very nice.

Then there was Jerk Gyllenhaal, whom is no long my favourite Gyllenhaal. In fact, I’m going to shun my Jake collection (with the exception of Donnie Darko. That one I’ll keep for the Swayze). Goodbye October Sky. So Long The Good Girl. I feel bad that I actually wasted my time watching Bubble Boy on TV the night before. So why the sudden anger against a man that I previously liked? I mean, I do own The Day After Tomorrow and not for the special effects.

Jerk, as he will now be forever known, sauntered onto the carpet as the first “major” (sorry Jane) star to arrive. He stopped in front of us and talked with other industry people. That’s all fine and dandy. Fans were calling his name, POLITELY asking him to pose for a picture and merely turn his head towards them, while telling him that they love his films, saw Brokeback Mountain the other night and he’s awesome, etc. Not only did he flat out ignore everyone comepletly except for his industry posse, he actually held up his hand and pointed his finger in the “One Minute. Get out of my face bitch” Way. His manager/assistant/random woman pal turned to the crowd and said the he would pose in minute. Not only did that not happen, but Jerk practically stormed up the red carpet into the theatre, bypassing not only his fans, but also the media including Entertainment Tonight and eTalk Daily. He’s not even in the film! It’s his sister’s movie! (and Kirsten Dunst wasn’t there either). And apparently he did sign autographs at an earlier film. He also missed the press conference for his own film, Proof. And I hear that he reiterated over and over again at the Brokeback Mountain press conf that he, repeat, does not dig dudes, but is a hetero, much to some ridicule later in the press. I haven’t seen anyone so upset about being labeled homosexual as if it’s the worst possible thing imaginable since Tom Cruise. (Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr joked about their kiss and how fun it all was, so give me a break Jerk. Your co-star didn’t seem to mind.)

And then the parade of Duchovny, Eva Mendes (whose autograph I scored), Julianne Moore, Claire Danes, Crudup and Freundlich descended. Eva and the Duchov took the most time talking to fans and signing autographs and posing for pictures (take that Jerk Gyllenhaal). They were really nice and genuinely seemed to be appreciative of the fans. And then my heart stopped beating as I saw Peter Sarsgaard emerge of a car with his girlfriend Maggie “The Good” Gyllenhaal.

At this point I freaked out. This was it. The reason I was there. And by freak out, I don’t mean I scream or cry, just get unbelieveable hyper and excited and talk in a higher pitch and really fast. Snapped pictures like mad of everyone, especially the Sars. Good shots too which I will add after the fest is over and I have 5 minutes to think. No one is paying the Sarsgaard any attention. It is afterall, not his film, and the majority of the people don’t know him unless its like, “That rapist in Boys Don’t Cry/ The cemetery dude in Garden State/ the Naked guy in Kinsey & The Centre of the World/Dude with the mullet in The Salton Sea/The guy who isn't Hayden Christensen in Shattered Glass, etc.” As he got closer I yelled, “Peter!” trying to get his attention. So I had Caro call him too. Maggie nudged him, smiled, pointed in our direction as she said something to him (I’d like to think she said, “Those attractive girls are trying to get your attention. Perhaps you should go over there and make out with them”). He then looked, I waved, he smiled and winked at me. I took a picture. It was awesome! I was in such a good mood that later when a dude on the street was all like, “hey baby” to me, I didn’t even give him the finger. That’s powerful stuff, man.

Afterwards in line for Everything is Illuminated, to which I brought my VHS copy of the movie North (shut up. It's funny) for Elijah Wood to sign, much to the amusement of Shane and his brother Ryan (plan is to try and get entire cast of North to sign the cover, except for the dearly departed John Ritter to which we will ceremoniously cross off his face with an X). I also won a free crappy CD for answering some pop culture trivia (before the chick even finished the question) and M&M’s for myself and Shane for correctly identifying a picture of Bono (to which, according to Shane, I said, in a high pitched squeal, “Oooooooh! That’s Bono!!!!!)

Onto the film. I sat across from Live Schreiber who was a row behind me and across the aisle. He appeared to be almost drunk at times and laughed at parts that weren’t funny. He was the only one laughing. Maybe good memories attached to filming that scene? Got a good pic of Elijah as he walked by me to his seat, too. The film was very good and much better than Elizabethtown. The film got a partial standing ovation at the end (I didn’t stand. It was good, but it wasn’t that good). Some of the funniest parts of the film are actually in Ukrainian. And of course, there are a lot of jokes based on mistranslation and the adaptation of Western culture by Eastern European countries that are behind the times (Alex loves Michael Jackson as he is, to him, the epitome of cool).

The Q&A was great. I think it lasted 20 minutes as the audience was treated to anecdotes on the process of filming and casting. Elijah Wood was funny as he interrupted this guy who asked a question comparing his performance in Illuminated to Sin City, to state that those two films are do far different. And then it turned out dude had a legit question so Elijah was like, “I’m so sorry…etc.” Really funny. Bonus points for Eugene Hutz who was ina Ukranian rock band and was sporting one kick-ass mustache.

Up tonight:
Thumbsucker

Hoping to see Keanu Reeves and Vince Vaughn. I don’t know if either are in town. Maybe Peter Sarsgaard again? He likes movies. And I like him.

The best week of my life continues as I gear up for the big U2 concert tomorrow (1 of 2 I’ll be attending). My pal Tony (not to be confused with my cat Tony or Tony Danza) saw it last night and said it rocked. He’ll be there again tomorrow.

And I’m really trying to stay awake as the lack of sleep is cathing up. That and I’m not wearing any shoes at work.