“Oh it's the same old plot these days”
-Lost in the Plot, The Dears

I had a bad dream last night. A bad dream about Burt Reynolds. And his mustache.

How can a dream about Burt Reynolds be bad you might ask? Because the star of the dream was Burt freakin’ Reynolds. And his hideous mustache. Actually, I think it may have been Norm MacDonald in his SNL Burt Reynolds costume. Also featuring a scary mustache. But I don’t want to relive the horror so I won’t dwell.


“Take me for drive to the coastline, Pull me to the depths of the sea”

Started a debate yesterday about families of actors in honour of the first day of the Toronto International Film Festival. Basically it comes down to the dynasties that are The Bridges vs. The Quaids vs. The Baldwins.

Ignoring the weaker sibling sets like the Afflecks (no one really cares), the Duffs (for the love of God, put Haylie away), the Spears (that other one doesn’t even count really), the Arquettes (I like Patricia, David can get on my nerves after a while, and I don’t even know if Rosanna does anything anymore…anything good that is) and the Phoenixes (River’s gone, Joaquin is really good, but the rest of them are just faces in the crowd). I also left the Wilsons off the list because they’re good and not retro-good the way the Bridges are, or laughable like the Baldwins (remember when beings a “Baldwin” was a compliment? Now it’s just sad), or polar opposites like the Quaids.

“Leave me in the middle of the ocean, I can walk the rest of the way”

Which brings me back to my make believe battle. The Baldwins win the numbers game on the sheer volume of them, both in terms of size and numbers. Chances are, if you’re casting a movie, one of the Bladwins can be interchanged for the next. Not that I haven’t enjoyed and of Alec Baldwin’s movies- I do like “Malice.” I know it’s bad. He knows it’s bad. Nicole Kidman knows it wasn’t a great move, but neither was marrying that crazy guy of the year, Tom Cruise (to her credit, he didn’t seem to be such the crazy cult leader back in the day, but I’ve never fully liked him).

Off topic- Once Katie Holmes exchanges vows with the cult leader she will become “Kate Cruise” according to the rumours. But I digress…

“But I promised not to cry anymore, 'cause it's the same old plot these days”

Back to the Bridges. I enjoy Jeff a great deal. So does my Nana (seriously). I have his autograph. Come to think of it I have Alec Baldwin’s too, but that’s neither here nor there. I also occasionally enjoy the work of Beau Bridges, when he is working, which doesn’t seem to happen that often. I saw “The Wizard.” Jeff is just one of those guys that I really like, no matter how bad the movies are. I really like “The Vanishing,” even if Sandra Bullock is in it and it is a remake of a really good film. He seems like a nice guy, and together with Beau, they could rule the world if it weren’t for those pesky Quaids.

“And I promise not to cry anymore, All the reasons beat the crap out of me, Everyday when I wake up they are waiting”

Dennis Quiad…how I love and admire thee. Hugely popular in the wonder years that were the 1980’s, Dennis kinda faded away. I blame Meg Ryan. I blame her for all of life’s woes. I especially blame her for “When Harry Met Sally”- which I actually STUDIED in film class, thus forcing me to finally watch the entire thing while trying not to vomit (someone told me that was the story of my life, to which I replied, “You mean I end up with Billy Crystal?” and then I shuddered. And I just shuddered again reliving that moment and also thinking of Burt Reynolds)- and every other horrible movie she’s ever been in and I’ve been subjected to. A lot of Tom Hanks films come to mind. Shudder. Anyway, once Quaid ditched her after the Russell Crowe incident, like a vampire, he has risen from the ashes and resurrected himself as a stellar actor and once again handsome dude. “In Good Company,” “Traffic,” “Frequency” (the one starring “Jesus”), and even “The Rookie” were rocked by DQ.

Onto his other half, Randy. Randy, God bless him, is unattractive. He’s everything DQ isn’t, but he’s hilarious. All those Vacation movies wouldn’t be the same without him. He’s in “Brokeback Mountain.” He was even in a movie called “The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns.” You know it’s gotta be good because it’s also starring Whoopi Goldberg. IMDB says he’s in 105 movies. And I find it hard to even name 10 of them.

Therefore, the winner in the Brother Battle has got to be the Quaids. Hands down. No contest. All hail the Quaids.

“Our love, don't mess with our love, Our love is so much stronger”

OVERRATED: Nepotism. Without it, we wouldn’t have Haylie Duff, or that younger Spears.
UNDERRATED: Nepotism. Without it, at least half of the brothers on the list wouldn’t have had any jobs.

Optimists will read that as a win-win situation. Pessimists will see it as lose-lose. With the good comes the bad.

“Same old plot these days”