“How hard can it be, To get a slap on the back from a room full of morons? So you hate my sunglasses?
-Martell, The Cribs (aka the song from that Telus commerial that drives you nuts)

I know I promised that I would stop writing meaningless blog updates, and I usually do keep my promises and my goals that I set for myself (good or bad, and whether I really should or not), but I just keep having fun adventures at the grocery store. So maybe read this blog every other day or so to tackle more than one rambling post at once. I never have been able to be concise and deliver clear-cut stories.

So grocery shopping is my new raison d’etre. Not just for the “I wonder what this actually is? Is this cheese or butter? Only one way to find out!” I’d go for the muzak alone, just to hang out and play guessing games as to which hilariously butchered song is actually playing. And then I sing along. Out loud. You see, if you’re going to be stared at for being white, you might as well carve a niche for yourself as the “Crazy Gaijin” (foreigner). That is a niche that I would like to fill to say the least. My last trip to the grocery store, a chain called Benimaru whose neon lit logo of a white dove can be seen illuminated over the rooftops of Japanese cities, featured a playlist with Beautiful Day, Union of the Snake (Duran Duran people!), I’ve Got My Mind Set on You, and again, the theme to Indiana Jones. And, as a warm up for karaoke, I sing along out loud to them and throw in a dance here and there in the vegetable department to amuse Eve. And tonight for dinner I will crack open the bag of mystery meat which may or may not be something akin to General Tao’s Chicken.

To amuse myself while everyone I know is either at work or asleep in other time zones, I create attracting visual displays of things found in the kitchen. Guess what belongs to me!

Actually, my being lazy and watching the entire season 2 of House all at once caused me to have an epiphany. So maybe I'm a little slow, but I just realized that my belovd Dr. Wilson is none other than Neil "carpe deim" Perry (aka the one who isn't Ethan Hawke and who I had a mad crush on circa 1990) from Dead Poet's Society, one of my favourite childhood films. So slow on the uptake, but at least that explains my affection for Dr. Wilson. I clearly already adore Dr. House because he is a jerk. If you don't watch, you're missing out (I've already made Eve watch).

“You should leave it to me We cover insignificant miles for a miniature bottle Do you know what I mean?”

In other news, Eve and I are planning a weeklong trip to Shanghai and Beijing, China in August. We’re just trying to firm up some details including how to get there free with our Air Canada Aeroplan miles and how to book a train between the 2 cities that doesn’t involve sharing a cabin with strangers (I’m thinking I don’t want to re-enact the train scenes from Eurotrip). This trip has gone through various incarnations over the past 4 days including at one time or another being a trip to: Bangkok, Phuket, Hong Kong, Australia, Vietnam, Kuala Lumpur, and Saipan in some combination or another. Eve, who changes her mind every 28 minutes, is finally set on this one. I think.

And someone just knocked on the door. Eve and I closed the curtains and hid. And one of the news headlines to the day from Yahoo.ca: “Pope asks God why He tolerated the Holocaust.” To me, that’s funny. What do you think God asked the Pope in return?

“Someones got their eye on you now, Don't you know? And I don't want to be the one to let you know”

Top 5 Songs to Listen to While Scrounging for Bizarre Foodstuffs in the Cupboard (aka The “Clean-up on Aisle 3!” Mix):

We All Lose One Another- Jason Collett
Only- Nine Inch Nails
That Boy Needs Therapy- Avalanches
Something Bigger, Something Brighter- Pretty Girls Make Graves
Rock n’ Roll Star- Oasis

(if I had the muzak versions of these songs, it would be like working at Benimaru)

“La la la la can you hear me, I don't think so”